


Protect your head, maybe your heart too

by angstyauthor (wedontwritelemons)



Series: Janis & Damian fics [5]
Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst, Fake Marriage, Panic Attacks, Platonic Life Partners, Witness Protection, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000, how do I tag this?, i tagged them cuz they're there so, its not really a heathers fic, new life, no canon, they play the bad guys, update, update: i gave shane oman an actual personality just so damian can have a romatic s/o, updated tags to come
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24700564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedontwritelemons/pseuds/angstyauthor
Summary: “When did everything go so wrong, Damian?”Damian frowns. “What?""I dunno. Did you know I wanted to be a painter in highschool? How did I go from artist to agent? I haven't picked up a paintbrush in years.”Damian nodded. “I’ve seen your works on your apartment walls.”Or: Starting a new life isnt easy. But at least Janis has her best friend, two cats, a cute girl next door, and an ever growing target on her back.FINISHED <3
Relationships: Cady Heron/Janis Sarkisian, Damian Hubbard & Janis Sarkisian, Damian Hubbard/Shane Oman
Series: Janis & Damian fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779616
Comments: 172
Kudos: 39





	1. -one-

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WiseGirlEverdeen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WiseGirlEverdeen/gifts).



_ If you asked me how I found my job, I couldn't give you an answer. It's not that I legally can't tell you, (well no, that is part of it) but I simply don’t remember. My brain has been filled up with so much junk, codes, plans, escape routes, that the minor things like discovering my occupation just weren’t priorety. _

_ It was concerning to think like that. Often I’d sit in my apartment and wonder things like, how long I've lived here, what road is this, or the most worrying, is the oven on? _

_ If you’re reading this, and your name isn’t Janis Sarkisian, don't read further. This is a personal journal in case of an emergency where I get major head trauma and forget everything. Because with my history of forgetting the minor things, if I forgot the major things, it could be detrimental. Not just to you, dear reader (me? Dear me? Since I'm also a reader-?), but to the whole word. _

_ Here’s the basics. _

_ Janis Sarkisian, Agent number 469, gender: female, hight: 5’7, age: 23 _

_ Partner: Damian Hubbard, Agent number 420 (haha blaze it), gender: male, hight, 6’3, age: 24 _

_ I (you?) also have three other partners, Regina, Gretchen, and Karen. We only team with them for major operations, since in this occupation, its safety in smaller numbers. I won't bother putting their credentials in this book. I’m putting me and my partner in enough risk as it is.  _

_ We work at a secret agency. Our offices are in “the firm”, and a lot of people from the outside think we’re all lawyers. Bit of advice? Just go with it.  _

_ I am extremely worried about our next operation. For obvious security reasons I will not be going into detail. There is a gang of criminals called the triple H, they plan on attacking at a painting auction tomorrow. Damian and I will be there, along with Regina, Gretchen and Karen. Despite the name triple H, there are many of them. The main three’s identities we know. _

_ If this book does get into the wrong hands, use this information to capture this agency. Their morals are corrupt and they’re power hungry killers. _

_ Heather Chandler: Head of the agency as far as we know. Typically the one to make the calls. If you see her speak into an earpiece, turn around and protect your face from a blow because someone  _ will _ be right there to attack. Took me five tries to learn that, but hey- at least they’re predictable. _

_ Heather McNamara: Does most of the running. She’s flexible and can slip out through small gaps in the crowd. A slippery bitch indeed. _

_ Heather Duke: She's the distraction. Got nice boob implants. (What? I’m still a lesbian) _

_ There's four more we are aware of. We don't have official names. _

_ Blue chick and trench coat dude: this duo seems to be similar to me and Damian. They aren't always with triple H, but when they are, it will get messy. They’re ruthless killers, not just agents. _

_ Jock 1 and Jock 2: the brawn of the triple H. They will beat you up. Once again, protect blows to the head.  _

_ That is all we know about the group so far. The mission tomorrow will be dangerous.  _

_ Protect your head. _

_ (Seriously) _

I rubbed the back of my head gently with a groan.  _ Why didnt I protect my fucking head?  _ I flip my notebook closed. “God, what happened that night?” I’m sitting in a chair in what looked like an interrogation room. Every bone in my body is telling me I should be panicking, but I wasn’t tied up, the majority of my injuries were bangaded, and Damian was sitting next to me in seemingly the same situation.

He groaned and rubbed his head, probably feeling the same throb as I am.

I knew I should be in my agent mindset right now, because this could be a kidnapping for fucks sake, but instead I’m in friend mode. Concerned friend mode.

“Damian?”

“I’m good.” His voice was a familiar cold, the void of all emotion indicated that at least one of us was still mentally strong enough to do their job. “Get a grip, Janis.” He added. I feel like I should be offended, but he was right. I need to get it together,  _ and fast _ .

“Right.”

The sound of a door opening behind then made me turn around, clutching the notebook to my heart. 

“Who are you and what do you want?” Damian asked. He was the taller and more muscular of the duo, while I was more of the brain, so I wasn’t surprised Damian took the lead.

An old woman walked through the door. “Agents 469 and 420, take it easy. You’re safe.” She took a step closer and Damian stood up, standing slightly in front of me. Normally I would take offence to this and claim I can protect myself, but the room is spinning and this woman looks  _ so familiar _ .

Just thinking more made my head hert more. This was not okay.  _ I _ was not okay. Had I been drugged? Is that why I couldn't get a grip? Or was it pure exhaustion mixed with blunt trauma to the head? 

Wait, where were the other three agents?

“My name is Agent Joans.” The lady speaks. “You can sit Damian, You are in the WITSEC, you are safe while you’re here.”

I examine the lady. She truly looked familiar. Her reddish hair had a grey tint, and there were wrinkles around her green eyes.

“Agent Jonas, head agent in the witness protection program.” I whispered, realization clicking. Damian turned to look at me as if to ask  _ if it was legit? _ When I gave a small nod, Damian sat, but he kept a hand comfortingly on my knee. Maybe neither of them were in their Agent mindset right now. 

If that's the case they truly are fucked.

“We aren’t witnesses and we don't need protecting, Why are we here?” Domain asked as Agent Jonas sat on the other side of the interview table. 

“I’m sure both of you are familiar with triple H. The mission you and three other agents were sent on was a fake. They tricked you into walking right into a bombed area. Luckily there were no fatalities, but secret agent Karen Smith experienced the worst and had a severely broken leg. We have another agent talking to the other three right now.”

It took my brain an abnormally long time to process the information handed to me.”I think I have a concussion.” I mumbled.

“A survior one.” Agent Jonas agreed. She then looked to Dmaian. “You just hit your head hard, no lasting damage though.”

Damian just nodded. “You aren't going to relocate us, right?”

Agent Jonas smiled sadly. “That is actually what I am here to do.”

“What?” I yell.  _ Dammit this concussion sucks. _

“Unfortunately, the bomb was placed because triple H knew you were coming. They have seen your faces and learned your names, even hacked into our database and learned your adresses. 

“ _ What? _ ” I repeated, but this time it wasn’t a question. I understood we were in great danger. So were our families.

“Unfortunately,” Agent Jonas continued. “We will have to separate you two, as well as the girls. The danger is greater in larger numbers.”

_ Well I’ve heard that one before. _

_ Wait. _

_ WAIT. _

“No!” Damian and I shout at the same time.

“You can't separate us!” I protested. “I’ve seen more of this dude in my past four years as a secret agent then anyone else. He’s my best friend! I love him!”

Domain nodded widely. “I don’t think I can do this whole relocating thing in general. Don;t make me do it without Janis. I also love her!”

I laughed a little at how wildly Damian was waving his hands.

Agent Jonas paused for a moment. “You’ve heard of the platonic couples that get married right?” We look at each other before nodding. “How far would you be willing to go for your love for each other? You’d have to fake romance out of this room, but I can get it arranged that you two are ‘ _ dating’ _ ” Agen Jonas gives little air quotes.

“Will it keep us together? I mean we are already pretty affectionate.” I motion to the hand that Damian has yet to remove from my knee.

“If all goes well, we might have to sign some paperwork and take it a bit further…” Agent Jonas pulls out a tablet and begins typing in it. “Ah here it is.” I guess she's reading out of a rule book or something. “ We have had cases in the WPP where fiances rush their marriage in order to stick together. Don a new shared last name, and begin a new life without being separated.”

I look at Damian, who looks super desperate. “Anything.”

Agent Jones smiles. “I’m rooting for you two. You are a strong duo in the agency world. I would hate to have to split you up. I will go report this new  _ relationship addition _ to the program, I’ll see if it passes. It doesn't always mean you get to stick together, fair warning.”

With that, she leaves me and Damian alone. It takes my brain a solid five minutes to reboot with all this new information. I can almost feel old info getting replaced with this new stuff, and I subconsciously clench my book tighter, not wanting to forget one bit. 

“Janis-”

“When did everything go so wrong, Damian?”

Damian frowns. “If you don’t wanna get a fake marriage we can separate. I’m sorry I answered for us without asking.”

“No, no.  _ No.”  _ I backtrack quickly. “That's not it.”

“Then what  _ is  _ it.”

“I dunno. Did you know I wanted to be a painter in highschool? How did I go from artist to agent? I haven't picked up a paintbrush in years.”

Damian nodded. “I’ve seen your works on your apartment walls.”

Damian and I hit off in agency training, we worked well together and it was no surprise we got stuck together as partners. But even outside of long agency hours, we still hung out in our apartments watching movies, or at bars with the other three agents. He knew more about me than anyone should. My parents didn’t even know my occupation. All they know is I work at a firm. Which isn't a lie, they’re just thinking of a law firm, while I’m talking about risking my life everyday. 

Damian shook my leg gently (I’m pretty sure his hand is just stuck to my knee now). “Don’t get lost in that head of yours.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't apologize. I just need you here right now. Got it?”

I smile, but before I can say anything. Agent Jonas is walking back into the room.

“What's the diagnosis, doc?” I joke weakly. 

“I’m prescribing both of you with an early marriage.” The agent says, playing along.

“Yes!” Suddenly, Dmaians hand is off my leg and both his arms are around my waist, pulling me into a hug. I wrap my arms around his neck with a laugh.

“I’m pretty sure nobody in the agency believes you’re romantically invested in one another, but you're top agents and clearly love eachother very much so they let it slide.” Agent Jonas says. “Love is love, and while you two may not be  _ in _ love, there is definitely love there.” She sits back at her desk. “Now lets work on those new identities.

Two weeks later, I was Janis Ian, getting married to my finance, Damian Leigh. We had kept our first names because it felt easier that way. The marriage wasn’t going to be a fancy thing (obviously). Just the typical blessing and then boom- the government is involved in your relationship. (To be fair though, with my line of work, the government was already heavely involved.) I stood in front of Damian trying to laugh as we held hands in front of a makeshift altar. A couple agents showed up to make it feel more like a ceremony, with one of them saying “we can always go big when you renew the vows”. Agent Jonas was the one filling in the roll of the priest and she laughed a little before saying the final line. “You may now kiss the bride.”

It took everything in my not to make a face.

Like,  _ everything. _

Damian simply placed a kiss on my forehead before saying, “We’ll do the proper thing later, if you know what I mean.” He winked at the agents standing there and they laughed.

“Gross.” I whisper.

One week later and I think I’m getting whiplash from switching identities so much. First I’m Janis Sarkisian, Agent 469. Then I’m Janis Ian, and now I’m Janis Leigh, a stay at home wife who went to community college and now paints for a living. I don't talk with my parents anymore, but I met my husband Damian Leigh at a bar one night.

What a  _ shitty _ backstory.

Agent Jonas says we’re almost ready to go to our new house and begin our new lives. It's apparently in a small town called Northshore, Texas. I’ve never heard of it, but I guess that's the point. I’ve heard of other North Shores, like in Ohio or New Jersey. But those were big towns. I guess not in Texas. The WPP had given me a whole new style of clothing then what I was used to. Think, chic but soccer mom. Meanwhile Damian looks fresh off every holister ad ever. I’m starting to think they intentionally did me dirty. My dip bleach hair was dyed back to its original brown, and I was recommended to lay off the black eyeliner.

I stood in front of the mirror in the Damain and I’s room. I looked like I should be taking my kindergarten son to his first day of pre-k. 

“Janis you are almost done packing?” Damain asked where he was cleaning up the bathroom. I glance at my empty suitcase on the bed.

“Yeah of course!”

I hear Damian sigh from the bathroom and I know he can tell I’m lying. I begin hastily shoving my new clothes into my new suitcase to pack for my new life in a new town where I have to find new friends and a new occupation and-

_ Jesus Christ this was really gonna happen. _

I grabbed my book off the nightstand and slipped it into my suitcase last. Agent Jonas said this wasn’t a permanent thing, only until they caught triple H, but who knows how long that could be. 

_ Long enough to let me pick up painting again maybe. _

“Penny for your thoughts?” I look up to see Damian standing at the bathroom door.

“I’m just- scared I guess.”

Damian hums in agreement. “I keep wondering how the other three agents are.”

“Oh my god I forgot about them.” I say standing up straight.

“Janis!”

“What! I had bigger things on my mind. I’m a married woman now. A trophy wife has bigger woes”

Damian smiled. “I’m glad we don’t have to do this alone.”

“Me too.”

“Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck.”

“Calm down, Janis.”

“Holy fuck this is really happening.”

“Yes.” Agent Jonas says from the front seat of the van. 

Damian and I are in the back, watching houses go by, and I’m about to hyperventilate. 

It was finally the day we were being dumped into a new town and starting a new life.

“We are about five minuets away, so some quick reminders. You have enough money in your new bank accounts to buy food and pay taxes for about four months. Even if you have a job by then you should have extra, but if you ever need more, your new phones already have my number. The house has already been furnished but once you're stable, if you want to redo it, feel free, you’re homeowners now. Welcome to the tax world.”

“Holy fuck.” I mumble again. I feel like my head is spinning at the speed of the planet.  _ Do concussions last months? I’ll have to google it. _

“You guys will be fine. Just remember your new last names and back story. New life means new friends. You will end up drawing more attention to yourself if you stay inside all day. Get a pet, go to a party, grab some drinks. This is your life now, for who knows how long. Don’t sit there and wait for it to end.”

Agent Jonas seems done with her speech as we pull onto a road full of nice houses. They aren’t big, but the yards have patio sets and the fronts of the houses have big windows. 

“You sure we can afford whatever house you’ve picked?”

“You forget this is Texas.” Agent Jonas looks in the rearview mirror at me, wiggling her eyebrows. “Like I said, get a job asap and you’ll have more than enough money. If you're living off just what we’ve provided, you’ll have about four months of living comfortably. Add in a constant income and you may or may not be able to buy some unnecessary things, like floaties for the pool your house has.”

“We have a pool?!” Damian gasped.

Agent Jonas laughed, pulling into a driveway. 

I silently push myself against the window to get a look at the house.

“Calm down Janis, the house isn't gonna get up and walk away.” Damian teases, but he is leaning against me to get a look as well. 

The house looks to be two floors, with white siding and a cliche picket pence going around the property. It's similar to all the houses around it, with a paved path up to the front door. The mailbox already said Leigh and the moving trucks seem to have gotten here before us. 

Agent Jones laughed at us pushed against the window. “Go explore, I’ll help with the final set ups and then we can talk.”

That's all the convincing it took Damian and I to run up to the house like children entering a candy store. The house enters into a wide hallway with a spiral staircase to the second floor at the end. There is an open door way into a furnished living room and fully stocked kitchen on the left, and on the right a sliding glass door to a screened in patio that leads to the backyard.

“We will definitely be coming back to that.” I said before leading Damian up the stairs. There are three rooms on the second floor. The master bedroom has an on suite bathroom with a hot tub.  _ A fucking hot tub _ .

“We can talk about rooms after this.” Damian says. I agree and follow him to the next room. This room also had an on suite bathroom, but not a hot tub in sight. There was a balcony overlooking the backyard though.

The final bedroom was just a boring guest room. Damian and I both shrugged and moved on without looking at it too much. 

The backyard was a decent size. There was no room for kids or anything (so it's a good thing we have none) but it was the perfect size for an inground pool.  _ Yesssss _ .

Agent Jonas walked into the backyard where we stood. “Like what you see?”

“Love what we see.” Damian nodded.

Agen Jonas smiled. “Let's talk in the living room.” 

We followed her through the new house and onto a sofa. The agent sits across from us, and Damian and I wait for her to talk.

“Your luggage is in the front hallway, the move was successful and we think undetected by the triple H. It's still too early to know. The movers have left, and I’m gonna leave too. If you need anything call. I’ll have monthly visits and we can see if it all goes well from there, okay?”

I feel myself nodding ‘yes’. But my mind has so many more questions.

“Okay great. It's about noon, so you can unpack, watch tv, set up your phones, so many possibilities.” Agent Jason gets up. “Just remember, you’re the Leighs now. No calling old friends or parents. You could just put them in danger.”

“Okay.” I say quietly. Damain gets up to follow Agent Jason to the door, but I just look around the living room. The walls are blank and the furniture is a very muted color scheme. It all just looks depressing.

“Janis?” Damian is standing in the doorway, looking concerned. 

“The first thing I wanna get is a canvas and some paint. This place is sad.”

Damian smiled. “Only if you help me unpack this shit first.”

“Deal.” 

I grab two of my suitcases, but there is no way I can make it all in one trip. For starting a new life and leaving all my old shit behind, there is a lot of stuff. Damian and I trudge upstairs before coming to a realization. “Who gets which room?” Damian asked.

“I'm fine with either.” We both say.

I laugh. “I'll take the balcony room, because if I'm my stay at home wife, I’m gonna paint a lot and the view is nice. As long as I can use the hot tub.”

Damian smiles. “Something tells me sleeping in the same bed won't be a rare occurrence anyway.” He smiles and makes his way to his new room.

“I mean, we are married now, Mr. Damian Leigh!” I call after him.

We get a lot of the unpacking done before the doorbell rings downstair about two hours later. “Did you order food?” I call down the hall to Damian's room. He sticks his head out. 

“No?”

I sight. “I’ll go check.”

I make a mental reminder as I walk down the stairs.  _ Your Janis Leigh, trophy wife, Community college, painter, trophy wife- _

I swing open the door and my gay brain short circuts. Standing there is a cute girl holding cookies.

_ Like really cute _ .

“Hiya new neighbor! My name is Cady!”


	2. -two-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now would be a good time to let you all know, I'm from New York and don't know shit about living in Texas. Whoops.

_ I (we? I’m gonna go with we, because we're both Janis. Hi Janis.) We pride (no that sound weird. Back to I) I pride myself in my ability to stay in character. No matter what happens, stay in character and protect your head. If you’re at an auction party and your name is Sophia Green, I don't care if the building is burning down.  _

_ Stay.  _

_ In.  _

_ Character.  _

_ Letting the enemy know who you are never ends well, that's why we put on fake identities. I remember the first time me and Damian had to act like a couple at some rich musicals album launch party. We went head to head with a blue chic and trench coat. If I accidentally said Damian rather than his fake name, we would have been fucked. We think blue chics name is Veronica, but it could have very well just been a fake identity. _

_ Her acting ability is the difference between her being on the list with the main triple H or the list of agents we aren’t sure of. _

_ Stay, In. Character. _

“Hiya new neighbor! My name is Cady!”

Fuck, whats my name?

“Hey, Cady! My name is Janis S-Leigh!”

Fuck.

“I come from the house to the right with my other two roomates! I can’t stay for long and I’m sure you have tons of unpacking to do but me and my roommates made cookies and we figured, who doesn't love cookies?”

“Well cookies are always welcome here,” I joke. “Thank you Cady!”

“Of course.” She said with a smile. “You live here alone?”

“No way, this place is too big to be alone. I live here with my husband, Damian.” I don't know how I feel about how easy that fact slips off my tongue. 

“Well, I’ll have to meet him next time! I’ll let you two get back to unpacking! Here,” She hands over the plate of cookies. They’re covered in saran wrap but I can smell them from here. “Hope to see you guys around, Janis! Don’t be a stranger!”

And with that, the cute girl next door is gone, leaving me standing there like an idiot. The only indication she was even here to begin with was the plate of still warm cookies in my hand.

The second my brain caught up with me, the front door slammed shut and I ran up the stairs to Damians room like a kid whose parents said they could get a puppy.

“Damian! Guess fucking what?!”

“Who was it?” He asks, looking at me as I barrel into his room, mindful of the cookies. 

“The cutest fucking girl _ ever _ .”

Damian’s eyebrows shot up. “And she brought cookies?”

“No. I just found them in our freezer.” 

Damian rolls his eyes and reaches out to shift the saran wrap to the side and grab a cookie. “Alright there, calm the sarcasm.”

“Her name is Cady, she couldn't stay long but dude. She's  _ cute _ .”

Damian shrugs and bites into the cookie. “She's a good cook, snatch her before someone else does.”

“We’re  _ married _ .”

Damian grins, realization drawing on him. “Oh my god we _ are _ married.”

“And our neighbor is cute” I whine.

Damian guides me to his bed and I sit down on the edge placing the cookies next to me. I feel the bed shift next to me as Damian sits. “We’ll cross the relationship bridge when we get to it. We’ve been in this new life for a total of four hours. Lets calm down, make a cute social media to impress your new neighbor, check our emails, and watch a movie.”

“When you say it like that it feels so simple.” I say leaning against him.

“We’ve been in more stressful situations. I hardly call this under pressure.”

“We aren’t agents anymore.” I grab a cookie. “We aren't  _ anything _ right now.”

“While the world may not know our past, we still do. And I’m telling you, you’re acting like a middle schooler who just got partnered with their crush for a project. We have nearly died  _ thousands  _ of times. It doesn't compare.”

“To  _ you _ ! You didn't see how cute she looked.”

Damian smiled. “I’ll have to take your word for it.” His eyes trailed over my face.

“What? Do I have cookie crumbs on my face?”

“No, you just- you look quite different now.”

I laugh. “I think it's kinda the point.”

Damian pulled me over to a big full length mirror on the wall. “You should be bringing your son, Timmothy, to school.”

“That's what I thought!” I say. My baggy jackets and black graphic tees had been replaced with soft cotton elbow length sleeves. I wore mom jeans in assorted shades of blue, with pale, muted, colored shirts. My once dip dyed hair was now chin length and brown. I had tried out a more natural eyeshadow instead of my heavy black liner.

Damian wore name brand graphic tees and skinny jeans. The new style showed off the muscles he had earned by being an agent. His hair had been dyed a deeper shade of brown, getting rid of the natural highlights he had before.

“WPP really took the homo out of our appearance, huh?” I asked, grinning at Damian through the mirror. 

He nodded. “We truly look like a married couple.”

I wrapped my arms around his waist, watching our reflections move with us. Damian rested his chin on my head. “Especially when we stand like this.”

I laugh, but don't bother to pull away. “We’ve had to fake a relationship before. How hard could this be in the long term?”

Hard.

Very hard.

Damian and I had gone into town at different times to look for jobs (even if it went against my trophy wife title, I couldn't just sit home all day). I had multiple people come up and ask me if I was Damian’s wife, based purley off the description he gave, and every time I almost denied it before remembering. 

It wasn’t being affectionate that was an issue, that was never the problem. I’ve gone so many years calling Damian byt best friend and partner. 

We still were partners, just in a different way. 

I walked into a flower shop with a sign that said ‘for hire’. Janis Sarkisan would never even think of working here, but Janis Sarkisian wasn’t here anymore. 

_ Is it morbid to say she's dead? _

_ Nah, Janis Sarkisan was dead. Until further notice at least. _

There was a dude behind the counter. He looked to be about my age. 

“Hello, what can I get you?”

I look at the name tag.  _ Aaron.  _ Totally fits the bill for that name.

“Hi, my name is Janis, I’m new to town and I saw that your window said for hire?”

“Yes! The owner actually isn't here today, but I could give her your number and you can pick a day to come in and apply if you would like.” Aaron says.

“That would be incredibly helpful, thank you.” I smile. He grabs a slip of paper from behind the counter and jots down a number, handing it to me.

“Are you the new resident for the house on Maple Court?”

_ Small town, I’ve been asked that nine times today. _

“Uh, yeah! I just moved in with my husband, Damian.” I notice my finger twisting the government picked wedding band on my finger. It was a simple gold one, with 420 and 469 engraved on the inside. It's a nervous habit I guess I picked up since moving here. When I wore my old rings I would never fidget with them like that.  _ Huh _ .

“I knew I recognized the name Janis from somewhere, You’re Janis Leigh! I’m your neighbor, my roommate Cady stopped by a week ago.

“Oh really?” I guess it truly is a small town.

“Yeah! Hope the cookies were okay. There’s a reason none of us work in the bakery.”

“Are you kidding me? They were heavenly.”

_ I think I’m getting the hang of this new life thing. Janis Sarkisian would never be used heavily as an adjective. _

“That's so good to hear! Hey, we typically have weekly movie nights around seven. Why don't you and your husband stop by? Don’t worry about bringing anything, just yourselves.” Aaron suggests.

_ What did Agent Jonas say? Go out, make friends, you never know how long this could last? We’ve been trying to catch triple H for years now, so I can bet I’m Janis Leigh for a while. Sure, I’ll make new friends.  _

“Yeah we’re free later!” I say. I don’t feel the need to text Damian and confirm. This is what married couples do, right? Brag about their marriage and make decisions for each other?

“Sweet!” Aaron says. I’m getting frat boy vibes. This dude was definitely a college jock who’s relized he dosent wanna spend all his time getting drunk and fucking girls and is now trying to turn his life around. 

I think being able to read people so well is like a hidden gift I have. It's certainly helpful in the agency. Not that I’m an agent anymore.

“Well, I’ll see you later, Aaron! Thanks for the number!” I wave the piece of paper around before leaving the shop.

I walked here, because as said earlier, small town. It was a nice fall day with the leaves crunching below my feet. I shivered slightly through the light shirt I was wearing. 

Man I miss my bomber jacket. 

It doesn't get very cold in Texas, but when you’re used to wearing layers in 90 degree weather, a shirt in 45 feels icy.  _ Wait, we’re in Texas. _ Will I ever see snow again? 

I don't know the new agents assigned to the triple H case, I’m no longer an agent and it's not my business, but I hope they’re good. They better be, because I don't wanna have to start again. 

The leaves fall around me as town turns into trees. I was never close to my family, but we weren’t actively avoiding each other. Will they think I’m avoiding them? Will they even notice I’m gone?

It felt bittersweet, to be in such a pretty town, with such a beautiful house, but to still miss my old life. 

I turn onto Maple court, watching children run around. From what I’ve learned in a week of living in Northshore was it wasn’t a town for the elders, or the teenagers. The few young ones running around were toddlers at most. And even those were rare. There was a highschool a town over, but none in Northshore. Truly the town to be in if you don't wanna be found. It's been 7 days and I already know most of the towns foke. 

I walk up to the house- well, my house, and enter. “Damian? I’m home.”

“Hi honey, I’m home.” I hear Damian quote from upstairs.

I drop my purse (because I own one of those now) on the coat rack by the door and make my way upstairs. The master bedroom was empty.

“Damian?”

“Your room!”

I laugh. “Whatcha doing in my room?”

I push open the door to see Damian there setting up a painting easel. There were bags of paint and canvases on the floor. “Tada!” He sang, standing up to do jazz hands. 

“What? I thought we needed jobs before buying this stuff! Art supplies are expensive, love.”

“That's the thing! I got a job at the town show house! I’m finally gonna do some theater.”

“Damian that's great!” I cheer before stepping forward to hug him. “I’m gonna go to all your shows.”

“Maybe not all of them Janis.”

“No, all of them.”

Having Damian as a partner in the agency meant we had a lot of late night heart to hearts. We would be doing overtime at the office and we would open up like middle school girls at a sleepover. I knew he did theater at school in highschool and like me, joined the agency instead of following his naive childhood dreams. For him, this was big.  _ Like hell _ I’ll miss a show.

I run my finger over the easel Damian assembled. “I think I found a job possibility.” I say. “It's in town, the flower shop.”

“This new Janis a flower shop gal?”

“This new Janis just needs a job.”

Damian laughed. “So much from trophy wife. I knew you wouldn't be able to just sit around all day.”

I smiled. “Oh! And our neighbor, Aaron works there. Cady’s roommate. He invited us over for a movie at around seven,”

“That's in like, four hours. What do you wanna do till then?”

I looked at the paints. “I’m down to do something together if you want but-”

“If you wanna paint that's all good.” Damian smiled. “I can’t wait to see the results.”

Once I’m alone in my room I open the doors to the balcony and move the easel out there. I wanted to paint the colorful trees before October turned into November.

“Janis?” 

I turn around to see Damian at the balcony door. 

“It's six. You seemed lost in the painting, I figured I’d give you a heads up.”

I look at the painting I had made. It still needed work, but Damian was right, the time had flown by. 

“Thanks for letting me know.” I say. “I should probably start getting ready.”

“Okay hon.” Damian says. He seems satisfied in my answer because he walks away. I begin dragging the supplies

back inside and contemplate on what I should get changed into.

It's just a casual movie night, why am I overthinking so much? I thought about just leaving on my current clothes, but they had their fair share of paint on them. 

I grumbled and made my way over to the closet. 

All my new clothes look the same. Janis Sarkisian had every iterm she owned customized just a bit. It probably isn't menatlly healthy to refer to my old life as a different person. Or will that just help me move on better?

I got dressed and walked into my bathroom to redo my makeup. 

I’m still trying to get the hang of a natural brown eyeshadow look, but I know how to blend, so how bad can the end results truly look?

It took about half an hour, but I finally got a look down. 

_ Shit, it's like six fifty eight. _

I grab a pair of white converse and half run down the stairs, half shove my shoes on.

Damian is already at the door. “You really are like a wife. Taking forever to get ready.”

I roll my eyes. “I’ve always been like this, at least I get ready in time though.” I say grabbing my purse and a jacket off the rack. “Lets go agent.”

“Roll out!” Damian laughs.

There was a melancholy feeling to joking about still being agents. While it may not have been the life I had in mind, it still played a drastic role in who I was today,  _ now more than ever _ . Damian slips his hand into mine. I can’t tell if this is his normal level of affection or if he’s trying to sell the hetero look anymore. We had always been touchy and close. 

“How do you think Regina, Karen, and Grechen are doing?” I ask as we make our way down the driveway. The two cars that WPP left us still sat untouched. 

“I dunno,” Damian sighed. “I hope they stuck together.”

“Me too.” I sigh. We’re halfway up our neighbors driveway when Cady comes bursting out the door.

“You made it!”

“Yeah!” I say throwing my hands in the air, forgetting I’m holding Damians.

“Both me  _ and _ Aaron realized we never exchanged numbers! I wasn’t sure if you’d show.” Cady holds the door open for us as we step into the house. It was a cookie cutter replica of our home, just more personalized. I could already see Aaron and another male sitting in their living room.

“Hey Janis.” Aaron waves, getting up. “You must be Damian.” He says, holding out his hand for a shake. Damian lets go of mine to introduce himself to Aaron. 

Cady guides us into the living room. “Janis and Damian Leigh, meet my other roommate, Shane Omen.”

“Nice to meet you, Shane.” I say.

“Likewise.” He grins. 

Who knew watching a cheesy rom com with your new neighbors could be so fun? No me. You live and learn. Oh god I sound hetero too. 

“So.” Cady says, leaving back onto the sofa as the credits roll. Aaron is lying across a love seat, Shane is on the floor with his back against the sofa, and I’m curled up next to Damian. It was a familiar position, with Dmaian’s arm wrapped around me, holding me close. That's how we sat at the office sofas back at the firm. “Let's hear the cute backstory you two obviously have. You’re clearly very happy together.”

I look at Damian as if to say  _ follow along or we fuck this up _ .

“We actually met at a bar by the college we both went to.” I start. Don't break character. I remind myself mentally.  _ You’re talking about your husband, Damian Leigh. Damian Hubbard is as good as dead, just like Janis Sarkisian. Okay ouch I take it back I miss Damian Hubbard.  _

Damian elbows me, but it's like a warning nudge. I’ve gotten good at reading Damian’s cues over the years since we couldn't exactly state the plan of action in front of the enemy when we were agents. 

This was a nudge of  _ I’m gonna change the whole backstory, stay in character. _

“I was actually very lucky to meet Janis. I don’t know how early is too early to overshare-”

Cady waves her hand. “Don’t bother, you already know my childhood trauma and three greatest fears.”

I laugh because it's true. Cady was an open book.

“Both my parents and Janis’s parents were pushing for us to find somebody of the opposite gender to marry. “ Damian continued. “You see, you probably cant tell by how I dress, but I am almost to gay to fucntion, likewise with her.” Damian jabbed his thumb at me and I rolled my eyes. There were better ways to come out of the closet, but sarcastic jazz hands and a fake backstory seemed to be what we were rolling with here. “Janis is my platonic soulmate, hands down. So in order to please both our parents, we got married.”

Cady smiled. “Platonic marriages are just as valid. I was right, super cute backstory.”

I let out a sigh of relief I didn’t realise I was holding, and Aaron picked up on it. “Don’t worry about people here not accepting you. This isn’t a town your parents would particularly enjoy. We  _ pride _ ourselves in being so welcoming.”

Damian and I let out a chuckle at the pun, but Shane and Cady groaned.  _ Was bad jokes a common Aaron occurrence? _

“Look.” Cady said pointing to the wall behind us. It was covered in pictures. The biggest one was the three of them standing at what looked to be a pride parade. Cady was wrapped in a bisexual flag, Shane in a pan one, and Aaron was waving a small asexual flag. “Pride in our town is always awesome. Just wait for June.”

I could hear Damian continue the conversation but all I could think was three things.

  * __Oh my fuckign got they’re okay with the fact that Damiana and I are platonic__


  * _CADY IS FUCKING BISEXUAL I HAVE A CHANCE_


  * _No...i’m a married women_



October turned to November and November meant another visit from Agent Jonas. Damian and I were idly tidying up the house for her visit, not really saying much. There wasn’t much to be said. I felt like I was going through the stages of grief. I had skipped right to acceptance when it first happened, but now it had truly caught up to me. There was no more Janis Sarkisian. It had gotten easier to call myself Janis Leigh without hesitating. I painted a little on my converse to feel a little more like myself, but it wasn’t the same. Damian went to the gym to keep the body we had as an agent, I just sat home and painted. It's not like I didn’t do  _ anything _ . I was yet to use my car and walked everywhere, including the flower shop which I now worked at everyday from nine in the morning to four. Not ideal hours, but I have weekends off and shifts with Aaron on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 

“Are you thinking about much?” Damian asked from his spot in the kitchen doing dishes. 

“Just, trying to process the last month.” I say. 

Damian simply hums in response. 

I sigh as the doorbell rang. “How much do you wanna bet instead of Jonas that's Caddy with a new batch of cookies?”

Ever since the first tray of cookies, Cady and Shane had just kept them coming. The two loved trying new recipes and Aaron was hesitant to try them, so instead Damian and I got free treats. There was yet to be a bad batch.

“Probably.” Damian laughed.

I got up to open the door, and to my disappointment, a cookieless agent stood there.

“Hello Janis Leigh. Where's your husband?”

“Kitchen!” Damian called out.

I laughed and held the door open wider for Agent Jonas to step inside. 

“So, how have you two settled?” The agent said following me inside. We walked into the living room where Damian already sat. 

“We both have jobs, and we’re friends with our neighbors.” Damian says.

“Always good to hear.” The agent said, sitting down. “I figured a trophy wife who stays at home wouldn't stick for long with an ex agent who was always so ready to jump into action.”

I laugh nervously. “Yeah, it's just at a flower shop in town.”

Agent Jonas waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t care, the personality given to you was just something for you to grow into and expand. It's easier than having to build your own. If Damian decided he wanted to stay home and let you do the work, that would also be okay.”

“Noted.” Damian jokes.

Agent Jonas looked around the living room. “Haven’t had much time to personalize, I see.”

To be honest, neither me or Damian thought much about personalizing the house. We had been too busy missing our old lives and doing the bare minimum in this life to care. I had one painting hanging up behind the sofa Damian and I sat on. It was the painting I first made here, but other than that, the room looked the same.

“I mean, it's only been a month.” Damian said. “We’ve been hanging out at our neighbors house a lot, we weren't thinking much about here.”

“Maybe you should.” Agent Jonas said. “It will help you adjust more. Get some pets, take some pictures with your new friends. Janis, you work in a flower shop, buy some plants. The more homey this place looks, the more homey it feels.”


	3. -three-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thank you,” Her eyes find my name tag. “Janis.” My name gets caught in her throat a bit, like she just made the biggest connection of her life. “One more question.” She says, leaning in closer to me. “Did you know Leonardo Di Caprio likes Van Gough paintings?”
> 
> My brain shuts down momentarily. “Holy shit.”

  
_   
_

_ If I’m gonna write all my agency's secrets into a notebook I might as well add the biggest one. I mean, if somebody else is reading this I’m already fucked sooooo. _

_ If your agency, or just a group of agents, don't have a code word or phrase to use as cues, you're doing it wrong. Full offence to you.  _

_ Triple H’s phrase once was asking “where's the boiler room?” _

_ Blue chic said “under the gym” and then the whole fucking buiding blew up. Crazy shit I tell you. Add that to the list of times I almost died.  _

_ And add boiler room to the list of phrases that trigger an internal freak out _

_ ANYWAY _

_ Our’s is “Leonardo Di Caprio likes Van Gough paintings.” Or it is until we use it. Once we use it, please change this passage to future Janis. You can't reuse a phrase, for obvious reasons. It will give away the plan first off, second off- its just cooler this way. _

_ Besides, “Leonardo Di Caprio likes Van Gough paintings.” is one of the best phrases we have had yet. Me and Damian picked it. He picked the Leonardo Di Caprio part, and I picked Van Gough. It's more interesting than Gretchen's “Fetch is slang from England” or Karens “What's your opinion on Halloween before world peace?” (Halloween>> world peace btw. Sue me).  _

_ So yeah, if there is anything we really should remember, future Janis, it's that Leonardo Di Caprio can appreciate the fine art. Love that for him. _

It's December, and I’ve been reading a lot of my notebook recently. I’m not scared of forgetting anything, I’m not an agent anymore, I don't need the information, but I keep coming back to it. Damian thinks it's a form of mourning and it's not healthy, but he doesn't try to take the book away.

So, cool.

I hear the front door shut gently from downstairs. “Damian, is that you?”

“No, this is a robbery.” His voice calls back. 

“Mhmm, sure.” I say, placing the notebook back on my bookshelf and greeting Damian down stairs. 

“How was work?”

“Tiring.” 

Damian worked Fridays and Saturdays from noon to nine, but in that time he does two shows at lots of backstage work. The other days of the week he only went in for shows at seven, sometimes going earlier for paperwork. It was saturday and I could see the exhaustion on his face.

“Go upstairs and go to bed, okay?” I say softly, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from his face. 

“M’kay.” He doesn't fight, and that's how I know how truly exhausted he is. Damian makes it to the top of the stairs before turning around. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m going to bed soon anyway.” I say. “I’ll just clean up downstairs.”

“Okay.” He says, and I can hear him walk into his room and get ready for bed. 

I turn off the lights downstairs and make sure the doors are locked, feeling in no real rush. It's only nine and I’m already ready for bed. I make sure the patio door is locked and I look out to the pool. 

That shits gonna be  _ fun _ in the summer. Cady and her roommates don't have a pool, so maybe it's an excuse to invite them over. 

Once we personalize the house of course. 

I walked up the stairs and passed Dmains room when I heard him call me.

“Whats up?” I say, opening his door. His room is pitch black and he’s already in bed.

“Sleep in here tonight.” He says. It isn't a question, because he doesnt sound forceful either. “Even though we’re literally married and live together I feel like I never see you anymore.”

I laugh, but walk into the room regardless, closing the door lightly behind me. “We see each other the amount a normal married couple does. It just feels weird because we aren't agents anymore. We don't spend six to eight at the firm together anymore.” I slip under the covers and into his bed. It's bigger than mine, but I snuggle up next to Domain anyway.

“If there is one thing I don’t miss about my agent days, it's the long hours.” He says.

I nod, remember the days where I’d go home at five am after working overtime. My head would hit the pillow and I’d be up for work again.

Living in this house, I’ve been finding it harder to fall asleep. I told myself that it was because my body was used to so little sleep, getting eight plus hours just felt weird. But as Damian wrapped his arms around me and I felt my eyes get heavier, I don’t think that's the case.

“I’ll have to sleep in here more often.” I mumbled. I’m pretty sure Damian says something, but I’m out like a light before I can even process. 

  
  


“So, Cats.” Damian says out of nowhere. It's dinner and we’re both sitting at the table eating in relative silence. 

“The musical?” I ask. “It slapped, ten out of ten dont tell me otherwise.”

Damian rolls his eyes. “We need to start a sarcasm jar. It's like a swear jar but each time you're a bitch I get a dollar.”

“Woah! Hey, rude.” I say. “What about cats?”

“We should get some.”

I look around the house. “You sure?”

“Mhmm.” Damian nods. “We can each get our own, the litter boxes can go in the bathrooms in our rooms so that guests don't have to see them.”

“Wow, you’ve really thought about this.”

“I’ve always wanted a cat.” He says.

I remembered Damian talking about that at the firm. We would always joke about getting cats for the firm to get rid of the occasional mice. We said we would name them Lonardo Di  _ Cat _ rio and Vicent Van Gough, but the head agent was allergic. 

“You wanna finally get your Leonardo Di Cattrio?”

“Of course.” Damian grinned.

So there we were, a week before christmas, in the car to pick up cats. We had spent the week researching cats and buying supplies, and we felt it was time. We took Damian’s car because the next town was a little too far to walk, and we weren't gonna carry cat carriers all the way home. I felt the same nervous energy I had when we first moved here, but this time it wasn't bad. It was exciting.

“I’ve wanted a cat for forever!” I say voicing my joy.

“Yeah,’ Damian laughs a little. “I know. Me too.”

The town around us was bigger than our small world Northshore. 

“There's the adoption center.” I say pointing to a fenced in building. As we pulled into the parking lot I could hear dogs barking. I stepped out of the car as Damin walked around to met me from the drivers side.

“You ready?” He asks.

I nod, slipping his hand into mine. It felt natural at this point. Well, it had felt natural before, but before we were worried people would think we’re together. Now that's kinda the goal.

Two hours and much debate (and paperwork) later, we welcomed two cats into the house. Damian picked out a male tabby to call Leanardo Di Catprio while I found a female all black one, to call Van Gough. Or Van for short. We felt like we were living our agency cats in the firm dreams. It was great. 

I watched Leonardo and Van circle around each other, I haven't had a cat in years but I  _ think _ they’re playing? I hope so. They were rolling around on the living room floor while I watched from the couch. Damian was in the kitchen making dinner. He’s been doing that primarily since we got here. I can’t really cook. It always burns. 

Van Gough pounced at Leonardo and playfully swatted his nose. There was no claw, so I can tell they’re playing now. The cats already had all their shots and we already properly neutered and what not so I consider us lucky. I don’t know much about the cat adoption procedure and what's typical, but it went smoothly for us. 

“Are we gonna keep them inside all the time?” Damian asked from his spot in the kitchen. 

I shrug, looking up. “I don’t want them to run away. Lets keep them inside for at least the time being.”

“Sounds good.” He says. “C’mon, dinners ready.”

Days have started flying by, before, the weeks would drag. But now, I wake up one morning and boom, the holidays are over.

Christmas day was fun. That's what you could call it I guess. Damian and I celebrated alone, I mean- it's not like we could go hang out with family. We didn’t decorate much, Damian swears we’ll do it properly next year. I don’t mind. I’ve never decorated my apartment much, I’ve always been too busy with the agency. But Damian’s right. We aren’t agents anymore. We’re homeowners. We can do shit like this now. 

We were currently at our neighbors, celebrating a late christmas with them. Cady and Shane taught me how to make their cookies while Damian and Aaron chat idly. 

Cady is humming christmas carols to herself as I get to know Shane better. From working with Aaron everyday and talking with Cady all the time, I’ve heard so much about him, but personally know so little.

“How's the first couple months living here turning out?” Shane asks as we roll out dough.

I shrug. “To be honest, it flew by. The move was pretty sudden.” I say.

“We figured.” Cady said. “The house had been for sale for years, the one day its sold like that. One week later you and Damina arrive.”

_ You have no idea _ . I don't say that through. I’ve been trying to cut down on sarcastic quips. The amount of them poor Damian has to endure is awful. I think I give out more sarcasm than Aaron does bad puns. 

Cady slides the raw cookies into the over and the three of us make our way into the living room where Damian and Aaron are. There's christmas music playing softly and the tv is playing fireplace ambiance. I guess you don’t need actual fireplaces in Texas. 

“Hey, love.” Damian says as I sit next to him. “Did you destroy the cookies?”

“Oh haha they’re in the oven.”

Cady laughs at us. “Don’t you worry Damiian, Janis did awesome.”

We’re gonna ignore how red my face got at that statement okay?”

I swear, I blink and it's mid January. With days going by faster, I think about what could have been less and less. Is this moving on?

Anyway.

I’m in the shop with Aaron. It's a slow day, as most winter days are. The flower shop had bouquets premade, and the option to pick your own. We also had potted plants in the back, which the second I learned I bought one of each to bring home. I work here for god's sake how did I not know that? 

People don't come here for gardening supplies often. That doesn't mean we don’t have it though. I might start my own garden come spring. The shop had flower seeds and vegetable seeds. How cool would it be to grow my own ingredients for a salad? 

Back on topic.

It's a slow day, Aaron and I have some small talk, but for most of the part he’s adding new bouquets to display and I’m keeping up with stock. I hear the door jingle and I make my way up to the front counter, knowing Aaron is busy. 

The girl in front of me makes me stop dead in my tracks.

She looks like Regina. 

Not identical, but could very well be me as a sister or cousin. 

She’s got brown wavy hair with highlights. She’s wearing a comfy sweater and glasses. The only thing that could possibly make me think it was Regina was the bright blue, familiar eyes. But hey, it's been months since I’ve seen any of the plastics. 

She walks over to the counter and I snap out of my mini freak out.

“Hello, how can I help you?”

“I’m just here to look for some plants. Got any good indoors that can lighten up an apartment?”

_ She sounds just like Regina. Holy  _ fuck. 

“Yes, follow me!” I say putting on my smile I have reserved for customers. The larger than life grin I use in the shop hurts my mouth after a while. I lead this could-be-Regina-but-looks-like-every-other-white-bitch-so-maybe-not to the other end of the shop where we keep the pre grown potted plants. I begin to go through the rundown of the ones good for dark rooms, the ones that need light, the ones that can get really big, ect. The not Regina seems genuinely interstedd and paying attention.

“Thank you,” Her eyes find my name tag. “Janis.” My name gets caught in her throat a bit, like she just made the biggest connection of her life. “One more question.” She says, leaning in closer to me. “Did you know Leonardo Di Caprio likes Van Gough paintings?”

My brain shuts down momentarily. “Holy shit.” I exhale. “Regina.”

She grins. “Never pegged you for a flower girl.”

I pull her into a hug and the grip we have on each other probably makes bystanders think one of us has come back from the dead or something. 

Because to us, it's exactly like that.

“So, Janis, what brings you to this town?” Regina asks. I know exactly what she's implying.

“I moved here in November with my husband, Damian Leigh.”

Regina’s eyebrows shoot up her forehead. “Holy shit.”

“I know right.” I laugh. “You?”

“I’m living with my new roommates, Gretchen and Karen in the next town over. We wanna lighten up our apartment a bit since I figured this location is gonna be the new normal for a while.”

The implication hit too deep as I nodded. “Listen, I get off the clock in like, five minutes. We should chat.”

Regina shakes her head. “I would love to, but I got things to do. Here, take my  _ new _ number and we can all keep in touch.”

I grin as Regina puts her number in my phone. “I gotta go to the back of the store again, but Aaron is over by the cash register doing something, maybe his job. Who knows. He can check you out, it was nice seeing you again Regina.”

She grinned. “It's good to know you and Damian are alive and together.”

“I’m glad you three didnt separate.” I say before giving Regina one final hug and walking away. 

It felt good to see her, even for that short time. I almost feel like it didn’t happen, but one quick look in my phone contacts does in fact reveal:

Regina Hanwit, next town over

I can’t help but grin at the contact name. The three plastics have been so close this whole time. Full offence to WPP that's kinda a risk but, I’m not complaining. I shoot Regina a quick text telling her it's me, Janis, and then I head back to finishing my shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you honestly think I could write a story without the queen herself?
> 
> im to gay for her for that


	4. -four-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a nice afternoon with the winter sun setting early behind the trees. The area in between where town ends and residential area was one of my favorite places to walk. The sidewalk trailed away from the street and became a path through the woods. It wasn’t thick trees so you didn’t feel isolated, but it was pretty. Especially in the fall. There was a man walking ahead of me, also speed walking. He looked like-
> 
> “Damian?”
> 
> He turns around and sure enough, it's my husband. It was getting less and less weird to say that.

  
_   
_

_ Janis, I know so far I’ve labled everything as fucking important as shit, but I truly mean it this time. Do not,  _ _ ever _ _ , let your emotions get in the way of a mission. Worst comes to worst, the agency has a therapist in the firm, and it's free. She's a very nice lady, if you forgot that.  _

_ One time, Karen and I got left behind on a mission. Gretchen almost failed our task because she went back for us. (I’m like 99% sure if Karen wasn’t there she wouldn't have but) _

_ Anyway _

_ You have to trust your partners and believe in the fact that they can handle themselves.  _

_ Sure, after leaving me to presumably die, Damian really had to take advantage of a firm therapist, but we all have had to after one harrowing mission or another.  _

_ In our line of work, priorities are the mission, not our lives. It's shitty, but it pays well and hey, free therapy.  _

_ It's easiest to just block out all emotions while on a mission. Protect your head, and maybe your heart too. _

“So, Cady.” Damian said with a grin.

“So, I’m married.” I say, twisting the pasta on my fork. It was dinner in late January after another uneventful day at work. Ever since learning the plastics were so close by, the five of us constantly had dinner together, and even introduced the plastics to our neighbors. But this was another Damian, Janis, dinner.

“She knows we’re platonic.” Damian pointed out.

I look up. “You’d be okay with cheating?”

Damian shook his head. “It's not  _ cheating _ . It's an open relationship. We just need to remember to communicate, like now. Which you are doing an amazing job of by the way. Besides, I’ve caught by eye on a cute neighbor too.”

“Shane.” I say knowingly.

“Mhmm.” Damian takes another bite of food. “I’m not saying  _ they’d  _ be down for an open relationship. I won't assume that, but we’re best friends. I’m not worried about you fucking girls. Just do so in your own room and when I’m not home.”

“So kind and generous. Letting me have my own sex life.” I roll my eyes.

“Another dollar in the jar missy.” Damian says pointing to the mason jar on the counter.

_ That damn sarcasm jar was the reason I was losing all my fucking money so fast. There's got to be like eighty bucks in there by now. _

“Then be nicer to me.” Damian shrugs.

I hadn't realized I was complaining out loud.  _ God I’m tired. _ I slip a dollar in the jar and scoop up my plate.

“I’m gonna tap out early tonight.” I say emptying the rest of my food into the garbage and dropping the plate into the sink gently.

“It's only like nine thirty hun.”

I nod. “Long day though. Well, slow day, so it felt long.”

Damian nods. “You don't have to explain yourself, as long as you're okay. I’ll clean up after dinner, you head up to bed.”

“Okay.” I say before turning into the hallway. “Love you.”

“Love you more.” Damian’s voice calls from behind me.

-

“You got a date or something?”Aaron says as I check the clock for the eight time.

“Kinda.” I turn to him. “Damian and I have old town friends coming over for dinner, the three you, Cady, and Shane meet last time. Damian is gonna be home late tonight which means the second my shift ends I gotta bolt to beat them home.” I explain.

Aaron and I often walked home together, enjoying the town and talking about nothing important, but this time I had a clock to beat.

“Alright, Leigh, it's a slow day, I’ll clock you out.” Aaron says shaking his head. It takes me a couple seconds to realize what he's saying.

“No you don't have to take over, I can make it I just have to-”

“Go!” Aaron waves me away, not taking any of my bullshit. “And grab one of those bouquets that are gonna die for your dinner table or something. We can’t be having wilted flowers in the window.

I nod and throw off my apron. “Thanks Aaron, I owe you one!”

“Damian’s tomato sauce recipe would be a great way to make it up.” Aaron winks.

Damian makes  _ amazing _ tomato sauce from scratch. I joke it's the reason I married him, but we know it isn't true. Aaron has been dying to get his hands on the recipe, but Damian won't tell anyone. Not even me. I can’t be in the room as he makes it.

“I’ll try, but no promises.” I say before running out the door. 

It's a nice afternoon with the winter sun setting early behind the trees. The area in between where town ends and residential area was one of my favorite places to walk. The sidewalk trailed away from the street and became a path through the woods. It wasn’t thick trees so you didn’t feel isolated, but it was pretty. Especially in the fall. There was a man walking ahead of me, also speed walking. He looked like-

“Damian?”

He turns around and sure enough, it's my husband.  _ It was getting less and less weird to say that _ .

“Don’t tell me we had the same, leave work early to beat the plastics because the partner is still working, idea.” I say shaking my head before running to catch up to him.

“It appears we did.”

“Aaron’s gonna kill me, I made him close shop alone.”

Damian tsks. “Remember when I talked about communication?”

I laugh. “So much for that. I also have these.” I hold up the bouquet I picked. They were a variety of oranges and reds, just like the fall leaves I love painting so much.

“Pretty.” Damian says taking them from me to inspect. “Are we trying to impress our friends?”

“Nah, they were gonna die soon.”

“Oh. They’re pretty.” He repeats himself.

“Thank you, pick ' em myself.” I say. 

We fall into a comfortable silence as Maple Court approaches. I could see the house from here. It still felt weird to call it  _ our _ house. My brain hasn't gotten over the fact that this could very well be a permanent thing.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Damian asked. He should get his own jar for when he says that, bc may it might be more often than my sarcasm.

“Just, thinking.”

“You do that a lot.”

“Mhmm.” We make our way up the driveway to our house. Our driveway and the Heron, Samuels, Omen residency driveway are right next to each other with the houses mirroring one another. Cady was sitting on her porch reading a book.

“Where Aaron?”

“Closing shop.” I respond. “I had to leave early because we’ve got guests coming over. Tell him I said thank you again when he gets home.”

“Of course.” Cady smiles.

Damian unlocks the door and lets me inside first. Van circles around my feet meowing. 

“Hello to you too sweetheart!” I say scooping her up.

“You sweet talk the cat more than your own husband.” Damian fakes offence.

“You don’t seem half as delighted to see me come home. Where's Leonardo?” I ask. The damn tabby hates my guts and has it out for me. He’s always running under my feet or sticking his paw out to attack me. I needed an eye on him at all times.

Damian shrugged. “Either mind his own business or waiting to fuck with you.”

“Probably the latter.” I sigh. “You start dinner and I’ll clean up around here.” I place Van down, much to her dismay.

“Bossy bossy.” Damian tsks, but he walks to the kitchen anyway.

I grin and begin fixing the living room. Our house isn't messy, but the plastic apartment was always  _ gleaming _ . To be fair, they were giving a small three room apartment but we were given a full ass two story house. 

I walk into our laundry room and grab the load I had thrown in the dryer before work. As I’m carrying up the stairs to Damian’s room, basket on my hip, I truly feel like a domesticated housewife.

_ What the fuck. _

The load was both his and mine, so I took out the folded clothes for Damian and left them on his bed. Like hell I’m putting away his clothes for him. I’m not that much of a housewife.

I make my way to my room and begin to put my own clothes away.

I have recently grown more into my room. The wall my bed was on had a mural I painted of the autumn leaves. 

_ I really had a thing for those _ .

I think it's because the firm was in New York City, and the big apple isn’t known for its extensive forest. To be surrounded by them now was amazing. 

My painting stuff has taken over an entire corner at this point, with completed works hanging all around. There's a good number of them in Damian’s room as well. The rest of the house still looks like a generic airbnb, but two rooms is a start.

I finish putting away the last shirt when I hear the doorbell ring.

“Janis!” Damian calls.

“I’m getting it!”

I run down the stairs and excitedly swing open the door.

“Hey guys!”

The plastics stood there grinning. “We brought dessert!” Karen said holding up a cake.

“Yes!” Damian called from somewhere in the house.

We all make our way into the dining room where Damian is serving food onto plates. 

“Such a trophy husband.” Regina laughs.

“We both have our days.” Damian responds, motioning for us all to sit.

We begin the meal in relative silence, as normal. It's not awkward, we’re just all eating. 

Once we all begin finishing up, that's when the small talk starts.

“Somebody was talking about Vincent Van Gogh's art in work today.” Karen smiles sadly. “Made me think of the agency.”

“For risking our lives all the time, I actually really loved the job.” I say.

“Hey, free therapy,” Gretchen said. “Always an added bonus.”

“Oh definitely.” Regina nodes.

“I feel like we should have moved on more by now, like, I dunno about you guys, but I think about the firm all the time.” Damian says.

“I think it's hard to move on when it still feels like we’re living an undercover mission.” I say, earning nods of agreement from the table. “Like if you sent Janis Sarkisian here to live with her best friend, I think it’d be different. But I’m Janis Leigh and I have a husband. I’m so concentrated on not breaking character or whatever, that it doesn't feel like a new life. It feels like another one of our mission identities.”

Regina nodded. “It's been getting better, but super slowly.”

“Agreed.” Damian said. “I called Janis my wife the other day without thinking about it. But it's been almost five months. We should be past that.”

Karen shook her head. “Nobody really told us how fast to move on. We could be doing it all right.”

“Or completely wrong.” I point out. 

Karen’s blue eyeliner was replaced for a black cat eye. She dressed more gothic now, but a cute on the down low goth. Gretchen dressed the same, but her hair is pin straight now and her clothes, like Damians, were all brand named. Between her, goth Karen, and book chic Regina, they looked straight out of a netflix comedy about unlikely roommates becoming best friends. It felt weird to see them like this.

“So, cake?” Damian asks with a grin. 

“Oh of course!” Gretchen says. “Let me help you get it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You take the two things I love, domesticated fics and Janis & Damian, and you put it into one fic? You BET I'm making daily updates bc even I dont know how its gonna turn out.
> 
> Sometimes I wish my fic would write itself bc they are so much more fun to just read.


	5. -five-

_ Damian doesn't like this notebook. He thinks it's unecessary to expose our agency like that. I told him I knew that. I just feel it deep in my bones that this stuff will be useful one day. Don’t know when or how, just hope it doesn't come at the price of my memories since that is the point of me writing this. _

_ Anyway, we think there is another person in triple H. A hacker, who works computers but is never on scene. She’s referred to jock 1 as her kindergarten boyfriend, but if that's a code name it's a shitty one. We’ll stick with jock 1 thank you. We don’t know anything about her expertise. She's good at her job. She disabled all alarms once and threw off our mission.  _

_ Another thing to add to the list of times I almost died. _

_ It's a long list. _

_ If I forget my memory I don't wanna remember that. _

_ Anyway, we call her two names. Kindergarten girlfriend or hacker. Hopefully updates to come on this revelation.  _

It's February, more specifically approaching the Valentines day of February. And I personally feel that it is my duty as a newly married woman to participate in this big corporate company cash grab and buy Damian a gift. We’ve done it before jokingly because we have to act like significant others on missions so often, but now the acting has been taken to the next level, and it feels wrong not to buy  _ something _ . 

So here I am, sitting in a small mom and pop shop, looking at the handmade chocolate. Because if I’m gonna waste my money on raised prices for cheap chocolate, my money’s gonna go to a small business.

Fuck you CVS.

I pay for the chocolate and leave, after thanking the lady who worked there. As I’m walking home I stop in the flower shop. I’m not on clock today, but Aaron is. 

“Hey Janis! Just couldn't stay away.” He jokes. 

“Nope. Valentines day is tomorrow and me and Damian have an inside joke of who can get each other the sappiest most heteronormative gift. So, do we have any roses in stock?”

Aaron laughed but didn't seem surprised. All three of our neighbors know me and Damian aren't actually in love, but joke about it a lot.

“Check the window Leigh. I think it's our last one but since my favorite customer stopped in, I’ll let you take the display ones.”

I grin. “Wow, I get the fancy display set? I must really be special.” I walk to the front of the store and carefully reach to grab them from the window before walking over to Aaron to ring me up.

“Oh and while I could not get the recipe from Damian, I did not forget, and I got him to make you a couple jars of tomato sauce. I’ll drop them off at your house later, just refrigerate them.” I say.

“You are a godsend Mrs. Janis Leigh. Guess who's having spaghetti tonight?” Aaron cheers.

I laugh and wave by before walking home. 

-

Valentines day was fun, Damian and I stayed home and watched bad hallmark movies, poking fun at the cookie cutter storylines. We both got each other chocolate and flowers, but I got him roses and he got me tulips so it's safe to say I won. Soon, February came to an end as all months do. It was a nice sunset in early March when I walked out onto my front steps to just enjoy the colors in the sky.

“Janis!” I look over to see that Cady had a similar idea. “Come sit!” She tapped the spot on the step beside her.

“Hey Cady, long time no see!” I say walking over. “Whats up!”

“Nothing much. I’m probably doing the same thing you are, enjoying this sunset.”

I nod, sitting next to her. “It is pretty.”

We enjoy the silence for a bit before Cady speaks up. “I’ve been meaning to ask. You and Damian are friends, who are married. Does that ever make it weird for your friendship?”

I think for a moment before shaking my head. “It makes it harder to explain to other people like, yeah I’m a lesbian. Yes, I have a husband. We exist. But our actual relationship isn't affected. Why?”

Cady sighs. “I know it's different, but me and Aaron used to date before figuring we love each other, we just aren't in love. It's platonica, like you two. And not that I wanna go marry Aaron, but our friendship hasn't been the same since that awkward four month phase where we were together.”

“Maybe you should talk to him about it. He may feel the same way. I think the only way the marriage thing changes me and Damian’s relationship is, we communicate a lot more. Because we both still get crushes, and we still wanna date other people. And we’re both okay with the other doing that, we just have to talk and be open with each other.”

Cady nods. “Wait, does that mean your open on the market?”

I shrug. “Would that change anything?”

Cady’s face goes red and my heart is beating faster at what she  _ may _ be implying.

“I mean,” She takes a deep breath. “If that meant you would wanna go on a date I wouldn’t be opposed.”

I felt a grin spread onto my face before I could stop it. “I would love to, Cady.”

“Really?”

I feel like a giddy middle schooler who just hugged her crush. “Yeah!”

Cady grins. “We can come back to this wonderful topic later, I have one final question.”

“Shoot.”

“What are Damian’s opinions on my roommate Shane?”

I gasp. “Do we get to play matchmaker?”

“Double dates baby!” Cady cheers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short but important to the storyline. I also just wanted to say I'm dedicating this story to a very talented writer whos fics I rlly enjoy (her mean girls fic>>>>all of mine) Go check out her workkkkkk


	6. -six-

_ Okay, Janis. I lied. Protecting your heart isn't most important. Yeah, it's important, but there's a holy trinity of important things. These ones are actually the most important, I swear. (also take a shot everytime i say important) _

_ Never break character, protect your head, and duck.  _

_ Protecting your head just gets more attention because we have personal beef.  _

_ A.k.a I never do it.  _

_ Okay back to ducking. _

_ Being able to act fast and duck and cover in a split second, could be the split second between a bullet in you or not. _

_ Just saying. _

_ You have to always be on your toes. Duck down, hide behind a corner, or even just turn around to hide your face. When triple H knows your location, the mission automatically gets ten times harder.  _

It's April and flower business is picking up again. We get few customers in the winter, then work overtime February 13th, and then nothing. But it's spring, and people wanna start gardens. 

I’m walking to work, chewing on the last of a bagel Damian made for me. He doesn't have to go into work for another hour, but he still gets up to get ready with me.

I’m walking through the wooded areas before town. It's the only place I really feel like I can think. The trees have grown new green leaves, some with small flowers on them. It's a beautiful day.

I’m wearing a hoodie, and I think it's Damian’s but it got in my laundry so fuck him its mine now. Is it soft, okay?

I zoned out, listening to the birds chirp constantly. It was days like this where I remind myself how much I love walking around. There’s two people walking in my direction, but the sun is behind them and their faces are shadows. They’re looking at eachother and dont see me, but I hear them.

“Veronica, I think you’ve got it wrong.”

I know that voice.

_ Trench Coat dude _ .

My agent skills kick in and I duck behind a tree and adrenaline courses through my body. 

Why are they here.

What the fuck.

“No JD, I saw the website. He’s in this town. It looked like him, okay. I just don’t know where the goddamn theater is.”

_ The theater? Who’s on what websi- _

_ Damian. _

My heart falls to my stomach.

_ No _ .

“The guy we’re looking for is Damian  _ Hubbard _ . This dude is Damian Leigh. He looks like a bad hollister model.” Trench Coat dude pushes. 

“Well we could check it out and confirm our suspicions if we could just find the damn theater!”

They walk past the tree I’m behind and begin to walk towards housing. I need to get home, I need to get to Damian. While Trench Coat and blue chic (Veronica and JD?) might be walking in the opposite direction from the theater, they’re walking right to Maple Court. 

I step out from behind the tree and lift the hood from the sweater over my head. I pop in my earbuds but don’t play music and get into character.

_ I’m gonna run past them like just some random person going for a jog. I’ll look down as I pass and they won't get a chance to see my face.  _ Or maybe I’ll walk, I’m too lazy to run.

I start walking towards them, my feet hitting the pavement rhythmically, as one would in a jog.

“Ronnie, I’m like ninety nine percent sure the theater is not in the residential area.” JD says. 

“Okay, whatever.” They turn around and  _ oh shit _ .

I make direct eye contact with Blue Chic / Veronica.

The sun is behind  _ me _ now, so I hope the same shadowing effect from earlier was happening.

“Hey there!” She says. “Can you point us in the direction of the theater?”

Oh my god she doesn't recognize me.

_ Ha, stupiddd _ .

“Yeah! It's down that way,” I point behind me. “You reach a small mom and pops bakery and take a left down that side street. It's at the very end. Northshore Theater. It's big and fancy, hard to miss.” I say.

Maybe I shouldn't have given the actual directions to the theater, but my priority was keeping Damian safe, and he was home right now.

“Thank you.” Veronica nodded. I smile, hoping I pulled off the normal citizen character bill. Veronica seems fooled, but JD keeps looking at me funny. It's making me uncomfortable to be honest. 

“Has anyone ever told you you look like someone?” 

_ Shitshithsithis...uh- MAYBE I CAN PLAY THIS OFF!??? I can pretend like I’m some doppelganger _ .

“Yeah, actually.” I laugh. “There’s a very popular Janis in New York City somewhere. People will run up to me thinking I’m her, it's a small world. Why, you know her?”

Veronica smiles. “We’re work acquaintances.”

I nod. “Thats cool!”

“Well,” JD seemed to buy it. “Thank you, not-Janis. Maybe we’ll see you around.”

_ Hopefully you won't. _

I don't say that though. I just nod as they walk past me. The second they’re out of earshot the agent mode fades and I crumple into a ball on anxiety and adrenaline. I pull out my phone and dial Damian’s number. 

Now I’m really running, but even I can’t tell if I’m just trying to stay in character or if I’m just trying to get home. 

Damian picks up after the second ring.

“Janis? “

“Damian,” I take back what I said about a beautiful day. It's hot in this hoodie and I’m panting. I’m in shape, swear, blame Texas. “Don't go to work.”

“Janis, are you okay? You sound out of breath. I was just about to leave why can’t I-”

“No!”

“Janis. What's going on?”

I’m on Maple Court at this point and I think I may pass out from a heat stroke. 

“Don’t go into work.” I repeat as I run up the driveway. 

I can see Damian spot me through the window as I hang up the phone.

“Jesus, Janis!” The front door swings open and he's pulling me inside. 

I don't know if it's the fact that I genuinely think my body is shutting down, or my brain recognizes I’m home and safe, or that feeling Damian’s hand on my shoulder just solidified the thought that we were okay; but the second the front door shut behind me I broke down. 

I bring my hand up to my mouth to cover a sob and my knees give out and I fall into Damian, who just wraps his arms around me and lower us both to the floor.

“What happened?” He asks. His voice is softer now and doesn't sound as stressed as it did when we were on call. I guess seeing me safe eased his worries as well.

“You can’t go to work.”

It's the only thought that's coherently repeating in my head at this point.

“I’m not gonna go to work. But can you tell me  _ why? _ ” 

I left out a breath I didn't know I was holding and slump further against Damian.

“They know you work at the theater. I saw them.”

“Who, Janis?”

Damian has a lot of patience when it comes to my incoherent crying sessions, but I can tell he’s starting to reach the edge of his patience.

“Trenchcoat and Blue Chic. They didn’t recognize me though.”

“Wait what?!” Damian pulls back to look at me. “They saw you?!”

“They don't know it was me! But they saw you on the theater's website!” I can feel tears coming back. “They aren’t sure it's you, but they’re at the theater right now to check. You can’t go i-”

“I’m not going into work.” Damian says. “And if they’re in town, you aren't either. You go up to your room and get changes, I’ll call you out sick.” He lets go of me and we both stand up. I can see Damian is clearly stressed, but he’s trying not to show it. “I’ll meet you in your room, if you’re up to it, call the plastics, if not, don't worry I can do it.”

“I’ll do it.” I say. 

Damian nods and watches me walk up the stairs. Once he is sure I’m okay (or as okay as I can be) he picks up the phone and begins dialing the flower shop. 

Van Gough is chilling on my bed asleep, without a care in the world. I wish I could live the simple life of a cat. No agency, no WPP, and no threat of dying at any moment. 

I pick up my phone and dial Regina’s number.

“Hey Janis, whats up?” Regina says casually. She had no clue.

“You, Gretch, and Karen should stay inside for a bit. I just saw some triple H agents in my town. Even though we don’t work for the firm anymore, they’re still adamant on getting us. They looked for Damian at the theater.”

“Oh, christ, okay.” Regina says slowly. “Okay, okay, okay.”

I can hear her talking a bit to someone in the room. Probably the other plastics. 

“Thanks for the heads up, Janis. We’ll talk later.”

“Okay.” I say softly. 

The line beeps and I lower the phone from my ear, sitting on the bed next to Van. The weight of me on the mattress wakes up Van, who meows before crawling onto my lap to go back to bed. 

I can see my reflection in the mirror across my room. I can see why Damian got so worried by just the sight of me. The hood had fallen back on my head slightly, revealing baby hairs that had become plastered to my head with sweat. My face was pale everywhere but my checks, which were bright red. My eyes were bloodshot from crying and the mascara I put on today had pooled under my eyes and washed away my concealer, extenuating the bags.

“Janis, love?” 

I look up to see Damian at my door. He’s holding a glass of water. “Take off the sweatshirt or you're gonna overheat.”

I look down at Van on my lap. “Can’t move.”

“Sure you can.” Damian says crouching down in front of me and passing me the water. His hand falls to rest comfortably on my knee, and I swear I get flashbacks to when we were with Agent Jonas at WITSEC headquarters.

Van must sense she’s in the way because she huffs and walks over to the part of my bed in a patch of sunlight.

“C’mon, hands up.” Damian says standing. He tugs at the bottom of my (his?) sweatshirt.

“I can take the sweatshirt off myself.” I mumble.

“Then why aren't you?”

I shrug as Damian lets out a sigh. He doesnt sound exasperated or disappointed at me, just at the situation. “It’s okay, you’re safe now, I’m safe now, and we’re okay. If you’re gonna keep the hoodie on, at least drink some water? It's a warm day today and I’m sure your unplanned sprint was’t good for your water levels.”

I nod, sipping the water. Once again, Damian always has a way of making things seem so simple. 

-

We didn’t see triple h again. April became May, which turned to June, which meant pride. And Cady wasn't lying when she said that Northshore took pride  _ very  _ seriously. Damian and I were still cautious after that day in April, but pride was so crowded we figured we’d take the chance.

We walked into town with our neighbors. Cady had her hand in mine, and Shane and Damian walked in front of us doing the same. Aaron walked on my other side, seemingly unaffected by being a fifth wheel. 

As we got closer to town we saw people of all ages. Some wore white shirts that said “allies” and others carried pride flags around proudly. Cady wore a bisexual pride flag like a cape and I had the lesbian flag colors swipped across my checks. Damian wrapped his flag around his shoulders like a blanket, and Shane (who couldn't find his flag) waved a frying pan around proudly. Aaron had his small flag in his hand and was wearing a love is love shirt. We passed the flower shop and waved to the owner, who was setting up a rainbow window display. 

Cady and Aaron started talking across me, so I stepped away, giving them space. I ran up to where Damian and Shane were walking and wrapped my arm around Damian’s shoulders.

It was not an easy feat with his height.

“Hello, my dear.” Damian said turning to me. “Whats up?”

“Cady and Aaron are fighting again. Aaron thinks the cookies she and Shane make are bad.”

Shane fakes offence. “They are not! I will be right back while I defend my honor!” He says letting go of Damian’s hand to go yell at Aaron. 

I laugh as Damian and I look behind us to see him reach the other two.

“So,” Damian says. “Pride here, or nyc pride?”

“Don't make me pick.” I say. “I know everyone here, it feels more personal, but New York City is New York City!”

The firm was on 26th street on the corner where it meets 5th avenue, so we could always see pride from out windows. We never got to participate in it though, because an agent's work never stops.

Damian smiles. “I’m proud of using it so far. When Cady first told us about pride, I remember thinking, that's so far away. I might  _ die _ by then. But look at us now.”

“Look at us now.” I repeat with a nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shit ft pride because its june and i think girls and guys are hot
> 
> (fully blame barrett wilbert weed for it too)


	7. -seven-

_ I think being an agent has clouded my perspective of wrong and right. If a conflict arises and there is a clear correct choice, I might pick the other option. Maybe it's because I’m thinking long term, _

_ Is it easier to get out of a stupation if I do this? _

_ Will we be safe if that happens? _

_ Like, if somebody wants to go out to dinner and they ask me to pick a restaurant,  _

_ Most would pick their favorite restaurant. _

_ My brain asks which place is furthest from the last triple H spotting and which building has the most exits. If it's in a secluded area, then no. But at the same time if it's always too crowded, not there either. _

_ It's complicated and confusing.  _

_ Which I guess proves my point. _

_ The agency fucked up the way my brain should work. I’m not here for it. _

Maybe it wasn’t the smartest choice Damian and I ever made, but we never told WPP that we saw blue chic and trench coat. But I was thinking ahead. We would get relocated, probably lose touch with the plastics, never see our neighbors again- yeah. It's best to just shut up about some things. 

Besides, we haven't seen them since and we’ve both been going to work on our normal schedules. 

Business at the flower shop grew sparse as august became september and september turned to october. The days, while getting shorter, just felt to be growing longer and more boring. As the leaves changed colors I was in my room, painting them more. Shane, who apparently did photography-  _ I had no idea _ \- took photos of the leaves for me to use as reference. The trio next door wanted their own painting of my autumn leaves. Word travels fast around town, and soon I was getting commissions by lots of the town peoples for painting. 

I’m 99% sure it's because Damian bragged about having such a talented wife, but...

Aaron jokingly clarified that I would in fact not be leaving the flower shop just to open my own art gallery. 

I had told him not yet at least.

But that's where I sat on this October evening, out on my balcony painting the leaves outside. Cady waved at me from her back porch, to which I returned with a smile. 

Her hair matched the leaves I was painting, 

Life with Cady was actually going quite well. She was down for dates, even if Damian and I were married. She was understanding that “our parents were accepting”. Yeah we stuck with that one.

This is gonna be a bitch to sort out when triple H gets caught.

_ If triple H gets caught _ .

No.

They will be.

I mix a deeper shade of orange to layer onto the canvas. 

It was a nice afternoon, the sunset reflected tons of deep oranges and purples onto the clouds behind the trees. It made me wish every night had a sunset like this. 

I could hear the doorbell ring downstairs and Damian go down to get it, so I kept painting. Probably just Shane. Like me and Cady, Damian was slowly going head over heels for the nice-photo-taking-cookie-making-boy next door. I thought it was adorable. 

“Janis!” Damian called from downstairs.  _ Speak of the devil _ . 

I sigh and place down my painting pallet. 

Agent Jonas is sitting in the living room when I walk in.

“Oh, I’m sorry I forgot you were coming today!” I say, scooping up Van as she runs over to me. Leonardo on the other hand sees me and huffs before walking over to Damian. 

_ His problem _ .

“Actually, I showed up uninvited, if you don't mind.” The agent says. “There are some things we need to talk about.”

Damian and I share a look.  _ Did she find out? _

“I’ve noticed this place looks a lot more lived in.” The agent continues. “That's a good thing.”

I hadn't even noticed, but she was right,

On our walls were photos of us with our neighbors, and one with the plastics. I quickly stood in front of that one so the Agent couldn't see. Damian and I had replaced the original grey and gloomy furniture for more bright colors. My paintings were scattered around the place and we had potted plants  _ everywhere _ . Apparently starting a new life teaches you some things you didn't know about yourself. Like I have an  _ amazing _ green thumb. 

“Yeah, it is.” Damian says. He’s looking around like he’s never seen the room before. 

“I must say, it took you both long enough.” The agent says. “But it happened, and that's all that matters. Now, who are these cuties?” She asks addressing the cats, who have their own fair share of photos on the wall.

“This,” I say holding Van up a bit. “Is Van Gough. She's a sweetheart.”

“And this is Leonardo DiCattrio.” Damian grins at his pun. “Who is also a sweetheart unless you’re Janis”

“It's not fair.” I say walking over to Damian. Leonardo sees me coming and jumps up, hisses for good measure, and stalks away. 

“I’m sure they’re both amazing.” Agent Jonas says, petting Leonardo as he passes. 

I sit next to Damian and lean against him. “So, is that all? That's why you're here?” I ask.

“Yes, also I will be visiting less frequently. Since you clearly seem to be doing well, I don't think monthly visits are as necessary.”

I feel my heart start beating at a normal pace again.  _ She doesn't know _ .  _ Thank god _ . 

We chat for a bit more and Damian offers for the agent to stay for dinner. But she denies nicly and leaves. Damian and I ate in a comfortable silence. We both had our own things to process in our own heads. Which was fine. I’m too busy eating anyway.

I’m out the second I hit my pillow. 

Maybe it's trauma or something, but once I became Janis Leigh, I started having vivid and realistic dreams. I’m not talking about the dreams where you standing on the ceiling and your pizza guy is a talking human sized cat. No, like shit that can actually happen. 

And it feels so real.

I don't remember the dream, but I sat up gasping, the events slipping through my fingers like water. But what stayed was my beating heart and heavy breathing. 

I glance around the room wildly, willing my eyes to adjust. 

But nothing was there.

_ Obviously. _

I layed back down on my pillow and tried to go back to sleep, but it felt like I was gonna explode with anxiety. Or get sick at least. 

I toss over, trying to get comfortable and remember my dream.

I think we had to relocate.

I dunno.

I forgot it.

So  _ why _ is my body so worked up?

I finally give in and get up. I trudge over to Damians room feeling like a child. 

“Damian?”

“Yeah?” He sounds like I just woke him up. I feel bad now.

“I just- uh.”  _ I’m an absolute fuckign child who can't take care of herself after a nightmare.  _ “I’m a little- just-”

“Janis?”

“Yeah?” I whisper looking down. If i wasn't so worked up it be comical of how stupid I looked standing in his doorway like a toddler.

“C’mere you.” Damian says, and I can hear a laugh in his voice.

“Okay.” I say before walking over. I lay next to him and wrap my arm around his middle, my head on his chest. 

“Bad dream?” He asks.

“Yeah, its stupid.”

“No it's not.” Damian says. If anyone else said that, it’d mean nothing. But the way he said it, or maybe just because it’s Damian, I could almost feel the pit in my stomach disappear. 

“We’ve been through so much together, a bad dream isn’t stupid. This isn’t my first nightmare rodeo.” He adds.

Oftentimes we would all just crash on the firm sofas instead of going home after a particular jarring job. None of us were unfamiliar with being woken up by somebody else's cries. Karen and I were definitely the worst offender though. 

Damian pulls me in a little closer and kisses the top of my head.

_ “We’re okay.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my chapters are getting fluffier and fluffier and i DONT like it
> 
> i gotta live up to my username


	8. -eight-

_ If I (we) ever forget all my (our) memories, I hope the trauma leaves too.  _

_ Because my dude, I am fucked up. _

_ I remember a time when we thought a blue chick was dead. Then on our next mission when I was literally cornered by her and trench coat, all I could say into the mice was ‘dead girl walking’ and hope the others understood. It's ironic, cuz now I’m technically the dead girl walking. _

_ Rip Janis Sarkisian.  _

_ Anyway. _

_ When I hear a loud bang, I go into agent mode. When somebody says something even remotely close to an old code, I freak out.  _

_ It's not even just me. Damian makes sure to say goodbye and I love you every time, because we never know when it's our last time parting.  _

_ Karen is so used to texting secret codes through emojis she does it normally now. Even though we’re no longer under the risks of our messages being hacked and plans getting leaked.  _

_ A lot of people think Gretchen is just a creepy observant, but in our old line of work, that's how you need to be. Take in everyone's face in the room because you never know who the bad guy is.  _

_ But hey, I’m still clinging to my dream of being an artist. And the most trauma makes the best works. _

Today felt off before I even looked at the calendar. It was a Saturday and raining. 

Don't get me wrong, I love the rain. 

But this was the relentless downpour that made you fear losing power.

When I woke up, Van wasn’t by my side. It was November and getting cooler, Van was  _ always _ by my side. 

Another thing wrong was the fact that I woke up naturally at seven am. 

My alarm goes off at nine on Saturdays, and even then Damian is in my room shoving me out of bed at ten. 

I stagger down stairs, feeling unusually glum. 

“Hey, hon. You’re up early.” Damian is on the sofa drinking coffee and watching something on the tv. He pauses the show when he sees me walk in. “Something up?”

I just sit on the sofa with him. Normally we sit right next to each other with Damian’s arm around my shoulder, but this time I sat at the opposite end, not feeling very touchy today yet.

Damian picks up on this and sits up straighter. “You okay?”

“Everything feels wrong today. Like I should be remembering something but I can’t.”

Damian sighs. “I get it. Maybe it's because today marks our one year anniversary of living here?”

“Oh my god!” I bolt up. “We missed our one year marriage anniversary!”

Damian laughs. “Is  _ that _ what you took from what I said?” 

“The initial thought, yes.” I say as the rest begins to sink in.

It's been a year since I was Janis Sarkisian. I’ve known Cady for a year now. A year ago today she stopped cookies off to two scared newlyweds who were running away from an old life.  _ Literally _ . Damian and I have been home owners for a year.

“Yeah, that's definitely why I’m sad.” I say, running my fingers through my half brushed hair. “Has it really been a year already?”

“Time flies,” Damian said. “At the same time I feel like this experience took eleven years off my life line.”

All I could do was chuckle in agreement. 

Damian pats the empty spot on the sofa next to him as he turns back on the tv. I start making my way closer, and the second I'm in his arms reach, Damian is pulling me into a hug.

“I love you.” He says as I hug him back. 

“I love you more.” I say.

Damian is leaning against the arm of the sofa with me pulled up against him. I turn my head to watch the TV, listening to the beating of Damian’s heart.

We’ve been doing this for a year. It’ll be okay. 

It has to be.

The plastics came over for dinner that night. They apparently moved into their apartment a week before we were relocated. Still, we were all just glum. Even Gretchen, who is the life of the dinner party, barely touched her food. 

It was just that sad energy in the air. 

Even Leonardo tolerated me for the night. That's how you know it's bad. 

“It's been a year.” Regina started. “How much longer?”

“We were their best agents. Just like triple H is the best agent group for Westerburg Co. We may not know who replaced us, but I won't be naive and say they're the best for the job.” Damian says.

“We’ve been working to take down triple H since we were fresh outta highschool. We’re all in our twenties now.” Gretchen points out.

“How did a nicely paying college side job become this? Shaking head emoji, goldfish emoji.” Karen adds.

I shake my head. “We keep saying we gotta get used to this being the new normal, but I just can’t.”

“Everytime I get a phone call, I pray it's the agent assigned to us.” Regina says.

“Yeah.” Damian says.

“It's scary too, because recently, we’ve been seeing members of triple H around our town.” Regina says.

Damian and I both stop eating to look at eachother. 

“Do they know it's you?”

“No, they’re primarily at the flower shop. I think they’ve caught wind of a Janis at a flower shop, but they’re in the wrong town.”

I put down my fork.

“Shit.” Damian mutters.

“But, they aren’t looking for Damian at your town theater right? And they don't know you’re there.” I point out.

“That's true.” Regina says.

“And they have the wrong town if they’re looking for you, shaking head emoji.” Karen laughs.

I nod. At least triple H isn't in Northshore anymore. Damian and I don't have to worry.

No.

The plastics now have to worry.  _ I can't be so selfish _ . They were there for Damian and I when I saw Veronica and JD. We need to be there for them.

“If you guys ever wanna cram in a room together, we have a guest bedroom.” I say. “We could honestly get rid of the big bed and add three if ones bunk.”

Karen’s eyes light up. “I call top”

Regina rolls her eyes. “I’d top.”

Damian chokes a bit on his food and I laugh. “Regina not everything is sexual.”

“You’re just mad you’re a bottom bunker.”

“I am not!”

“Lets no talk about our sex lives at the dinner table-” Damian yells over us, reaching his hands up.

“Wanna get me to call Cady? I’m willing to bet my life savings that you’re a bottom.”

“Nah, Janis is a switch totally.” Gretchen says. “She can bottom, but only for Cady.”

Damian groans and puts his head in his hands. Karen is still going on about a bunk bed she had as a kid, and Gretchen and Regina are now fighting about how I would be in bed.

Life almost feels normal.

_ Almost. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might just update this a shit ton to get it done and out there
> 
> the ending can and will make you sad....but my username is angstyauthor, you're not here for fluff are you?
> 
> more updates to come, i love you, drink water, and stay angsty, dancing emoji, sparkle emoji!!!


	9. -nine-

_ Agency training is not a go-to-a-bodyguard/agent-school then boom you’re there like many think.  _

_ When I was hired at the firm first, I was a secretary at the lobby. Damian was a doorman, and that's how we met. We didn't know much about the place we worked for, but as we worked there longer, we got bits of training. They were originally what we should do if an intruder gets into the building. Damian was taught to take down people swiftly, and I was told secret codes to call over the firm speaker from the back desk. _

_ Though we never had to use this plan, it was our first look into agency fighting. _

_ We didn’t know it at the time, but soon our lobby pant suits turned into agent badges and concealed weapons.  _

_ Power you held in the firm all depended on how deep in the building you were.  _

_ Ex, Damian and I worked in the lobby at first. We were beginners, the underdogs. No power at all. _

_ Before we had our lives relocated, we had an office space with the plastics on the second to last floor in the back of the building. We were the strongest agents. Our office was right underneath the bosses. I’ve heard rumors that the new guys put on triple H are fresh out of the lobby. _

_ We aren't leaving anytime soon. _

I sigh and put my notebook down. I wasn't an agent anymore, I don't know why I updated it. It had grown into more of a diary of sorts. I’m sure keeping a diary of your past life does not check the ‘moving on in a healthy manner’ box, but I can’t bring myself to care.

I glance at the clock and get up to get ready. 

It's December 29th,and Damian’s opening night for a new show. I’m surprising him by inviting everyone to go. Obviously Shane will be going, we’re always in the front row together, but the rest of our neighbors and the plastics will be surprising him there. 

Damian left a couple hours ago to get ready. Opening nights are a big deal after all. 

I don't bother changing my outfit, I wasn’t painting today, so I was wearing my typical white soccer mom get up. It was getting cooler though, and I was yet to buy some nice jackets. I typically just stole a sweatshirt from Damian.

And tonight would be no different. 

As I grab my favorite sweatshirt of Damian’s, I also grab one for Shane. I can already hear Damian saying ‘ _ and I wonder where all my sweatshirts go’ _ , but the man has his own fair share of Shane’s. To be honest, I’m 99% sure I’m just in giving Shane his sweatshirt back right now.

I walk out the front door of my house as my neighbors leave as well.

“Hey guys!” I call out, running across the strip of land that divides our driveways. 

“Janis!” Cady calls out, throwing her arms around my neck and pulling me into a hug.

“Hey, Cads.” I grin, hugging her back. 

We must be standing there too long because Shane coughs from behind Cady. “We get it, you’re dating, but I would also like to say hello to Janis at some point.”

I laugh as I pull away from Cady’s embrace, only to be hugged by Shane and Aaron at the same time.

I used to not be very touchy. Only Damian was allowed to hug me. A hand on my shoulder would have me flinching, and anything more than a small touch made me squirm. But that was Janis Sarkisian. It's hard  _ not _ to be touchy when you have such warm and kind neighbors. 

“Oh Shane!” I say, remembering the sweatshirt. “I grabbed you this, since it's probably gonna get cold.”

Shane's eyes light up when he sees the sweatshirt. “That was my favorite sweatshirt!” He grabs in and slips it on immediately. “Not to be that cliche, but it smells like Damian.” He grins, holding the sweater up to his nose.

I roll my eyes at Shanes antics.

Yeah it's cute, but Damian does the same thing  _ all the time _ .

Just get married already. 

Wait.

Nevermind.

“So, I was thinking of stopping by the flower shop and picking up some flowers for Damian’s show.” I say as we leave the residential area and begin our walk to the theater. 

“Oh of course.” Aaron says. “We really can't stay away from it, can we?” 

“No.” I laugh.

…

Damian was  _ amazing _ . 

I mean, of course he was. 

But still. 

I had a worried feeling nagging me that triple H would try and start something, but Damian was going three shows strong without interference. 

I was currently waiting at home, trying to make appetizers while Damian was at work. It sucked he had to work on new years eve but it was only eleven and he’d be home any minute. Plenty of time for the ball to drop. 

We didn’t celebrate new years much last year. We were still trying to adjust to the new life. And this year while we still may be celebrating it alone, we don't have to spend it moping. 

I take the sliders out of the oven when I hear the front door open.

“Damian?”

“Nope, Cady!” A female voice calls back. 

“Hey there, neighbor!” I say, as she makes her way into the kitchen. “Whats up?”

“I know you and Damian are spending a new year alone this year, and that's fine. But I wanted to drop off some cookies as a reminder that we wish you were celebrating with us and that we’re thinking of you as the new year rolls in.”

“Cady, that's so sweet!” I say stepping around the counter and kissing her. It's a soft kiss, a quick sign of gratitude. We’re not doing anything more when Damian is walking home any minute. 

Cady grins as we pull away. “Next year, we do that as the ball drops.”

“Deal.” I smile. Part of me wanted to go next door and party, but the other part of me felt dead on my feet and the ball hasn't dropped yet. 

I walk Cady to the door, only to meet Damian who has  _ finally _ arrived at home.

“Bye, Cady, hey Damian.” I grin as Cady waves before leaving. 

“There's cookies in the kitchen! Don't let Janis eat them all, Damian!” She says before cutting across the lawns. 

“With me home?” Damian calls after her. “Janis won't even get any!”

“No!” I yell, and next thing you know, we’re running through the house like children. I’m about to reach the platter first, but Damian grabs my arm and yanks me behind him, as he grabs a handful of the cookies. 

He gins before holding one out for me. “I’ll take pity on the loser.”

“You play dirty.” I grumble before reaching out for the cookie. Damian raises it out of my reach as I try. “Hey!” I try and jump up to grab it but it's futile. “You’re so mean.” I say before reaching around him to grab a different cookie.

Damian grins and keeps the two to himself. “You know I love you.”

“Yeah, I do.” I say, walking over to the forgotten sliders, They had gone cold while still on the tray, since Cady interrupted me. I grumbled and slipped them back into the oven to keep warm.

“Are you as tired as I am?” I ask.

“I feel like a thirty year old with back issues.” Damian says walking over to the living room. I follow him and flop on the sofa next to him.

“Probably because you’re carrying the entire show at that theater.” I say nuding his side. “You could go to Broadway, love.”

“Why thank you.” Damian grins and changes the tv to the countdown. There are still like ten minutes till new years, so we chat about anything and everything.

It feels weird to live with Damian but also never speak to him unless it's work or house related. It felt nice to just sit there with his arm wrapped around me, Van curled up by my feet, Lonardo watching from a distance, as we talked.

It felt so domesticated and so  _ normal _ .

After all this time, this was starting to feel like a normal life. Not a new life. Not a temporary one. Just, my life.

“5!”

“4!”

“3!”

“2!”

“1!”

“Happy new year!”

Damian and I hugged as it became officially January.

The new year always felt weird. Like, yeah it's a new year, but nothing has changed. You’re still the same person, ageing at the same rate, with the same looks, same house, same job. The year has just changed.

But this year felt different. I was walking in with a new clarity of moving on.

Sorry Janis Sarkisian. I’m officially over that.

  
  
  
  


I think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want a friend like Damian :(


	10. -ten-

_ Agency training made me numb in a way. I've learned to not dwell and move on, and it's worrying. My uncle passed away, and I was fine within two hours to go to work. It's not healthy, because then it just hits harder later, but in my (our?) line of work, it needs to be done. _

_ We used to have another agent in our office. Kevin, agent 439.  _

_ Let's say you’re reading this because you’ve forgotten your memories. In that case, I won't give you all the details. We’re better without the trauma.  _

_ Lets just say,  _

_ Normally when Damian covers my eyes I hate it because it makes me feel like a child. But this time I was grateful. _

_ Also, don't hold a bomb if you don’t know when it's gonna go off.  _

_ Anyway.  _

_ The whole office floor went to some intense agent therapy and we were back in business before our next mission. _

_ Because that shit happens. You can't do anything about it. _

_ Just don't dwell, and move on. _

_ Rip Kevin. _

Took me a hot minute to move on this time. It's March, and I think this has been going good so far this year. I was painting some flowers Shane had taken a photo of. 

Painting was really therapeutic for me. It always made me feel better to put a brush to a canvas and just let my emotions out. 

I painted on a muted yellow. While yes, I didn't miss being Janis Sarkisian anymore, I felt paranoid. 

Without being an agent and the weapons I had (never liked using them, but it was a nice reassurance) I feel like anyone could attack at any time and I’d be helpless. 

The flowers were pale blue, so next I mixed that on my pallet.

It felt weird, to be so moved on, but so fearful of the past that follows me. 

Like at any moment, this new life I’ve built could be derailed. 

I used to pray for triple H to be caught, but now I’m not so sure.

I don't wanna leave Cady.

Yeah, I don't want triple H to catch  _ us _ first, but….

I dunno.

I start spreading out a blue blob. My painting style is very, trust the process. The more detail I add, the more flowers take place. 

But for now, it looks like goo. 

…

“Janis?” 

I’m broken out of my painting trance by Damian. 

“Plastics are here for dinner.”

I nod and look at the painting I've created. You can definitely tell it's a flower now, but it still looks a little flat. I’ll add more later.

Damian leaves to go downstairs and I get changed quickly.

By the time I’m downstairs everyone is already sitting waiting to eat.

“Sorry to keep you guys waiting.” I say, sitting next to Damian. 

“No worries, this was very last minute anyway.” Regina shook her head. “There is something we actually need to talk about.” 

“Whats up?” Damian asks.

Regina looks between us, and I feel a put start to form in my stomach. 

_ Is it that bad? _

“We’ve been seeing a lot of Jock 1 and 2 in our town recently. We think they know we’re there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yk when i said shit didnt go down till chapter 12?
> 
> i lied


	11. -eleven-

_ Think of a cheesy muscle dude who introduces his fists as ‘his little friends’. Now picture those fists as two walking breathing thinking humans. No personality. And actually, take away the thinking part. _

_ There's jock 1 and 2.  _

_ Absolute bimbos whose only personality traits are their right hooks. _

_ I’m not gonna fill up a whole notebook insulting them, even though I could go on for pages.  _

_ They’re the brawn of triple H, the brute force.  _

_ I’ve had to face them a couple of times, but Damian was there too. _

_ There was only one time I had to fight them two on one. _

_ It didn't end well for any of us. I’m a petite person. But- you know that. _

_ We don't have much muscle on this body, at least not while i'm writing this.  _

_ So to go up against them was an issue. I walk out of there with a concussion, broken wrist, and bloody nose. But Jock 1 walked out with a gunshot wound, courtesy of Regina, so who's the real loser? _

_ Up for debate. _

_ Just, be careful if you ever come across them. _

It's May and the flower shop is in full swing. 

Just another thing to add to my stress. 

I rummage around the stock room and set up new displays, lost in thought.

The plastics were temporarily moved into our guest room (Karen got top bunk in the non sexual way). They all had jobs where the couple work from home ( _ lucky) _ and they helped out around our house a lot. 

I began placing flower seeds on display. We had received a new shipment of vegetables and flowers. Aaron was across the store setting up a vegetable section.

“Hey, Aaron?”

“Yeah?” He called. I couldn't see him through the aisles.

“You know that area in our backyards where they connect? There’s the path and then just grass next to it?”

“Mhmm.”

“We should start a vegetable garden there. You think there’s enough sunlight?”

“Definitely. I love that idea.”

That's how, three weeks later, the eight of us are standing in front of a freshly dug up patch of land. I may work at a store about plants, but Aarons the one who wants to major in botany, so he's explaining everything.

Shane and Damian had some quality time building a proper garden layout with a raised platform. They really just took a wooden frame and stuck it there then filled it with dirt but what more can you expect from the theater kid and photographer.

Despite complaining about dirt, the plastic stood out here too, looking eager to start. 

As Aaron finished up, I realized I had not been paying attention at all. Aaron passed everyone out some seed packets and smiled at me knowingly. “Just ask Damian.”

“I planned on it.” I grin, grabbing the- string beans?  _ Who eats string beans? _

I kneel next to Damian and Cady. Cady is chatting with Karen and Regina and Damian is obviously talking to Shane. 

I don't want to bother either of them, so I sit back on my heels and begin to read the string bean label. 

To say I didn't like string beans as a child was un understatement. I actively avoided the nastey beans and as a baby would throw tantrums if forced to eat them. 

But I began planting them anyway. Everyone around me was talking about all different topics but I made no effort to join any of them. 

I wasn't sad or anything, just concentrating on planting. I’m starting to see how its therapeutic. 

After a while I guess I was too quiet, because Damian is nudging my side, his eyebrows raised in a questioning manner.

“I’m good.” I say with a smile. It's genuine, and I mean it. Damian nods, satisfied with my response. 

It felt nice, being surrounded by my closest friends, from Sarkisian and Leigh. We were all tucked away in the backyards where a passerby wouldn't be able to see us, and it felt safe from triple H. 

I began poking the cursed seeds into the ground, humming contently to myself, surrounded by the people I love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw so cute  
> shame next chapter is 12 >:)


	12. -twelve-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its the beginning of the end

_ I’ve only been kidnapped once. It's fine. I’m fine. Not traumatized at all. _

_ Nope. _

_ It's like….wasn't long.  _

_ So I’m fine. _

_ Triple H was like halfway through an interrogation when the rest of the team broke in. _

_ If I wasn't about to cry I think it would have been pretty badass.  _

_ Add that to the list of times I almost died. (It's a long fuckign list.) _

_ The firm therapist needs a fucking pay raise, okay? _

_ She worked overtime that week.  _

_ But like, I'm not mentally scarred or anything. _

_ I don't feel super stressed when walking in the dark alone, or jump three feet in the air at a noise, or like- fall asleep in my roommates room a lot because sometimes when I close my eyes I feel like I’m still there and it makes me cry. _

_ No, I don't do that. _

_ Not traumatized at a l l .  _

I was walking to work as one dose when they’re a homeowner who needs to pay taxes. It was a relatively nice June day. It could be cooler out, but at least I wasn't melting. I make my way into town, waving to passerbys. With a small town like ours, you get to know everyone pretty well. There was a group of three people across the street walking around. 

I think they’re the plastics.

I can't tell, I really need glasses.

Squinting makes me feel old.

As I get closer, I’ve yet to make eye contact with them, they aren't looking in my direction.

I reach the flower shop and turn to look one last time.

I don't know why I’m getting so caught up on not recognizing townspeople. Did we get new neighbors?

The shortest blur looks across the street. Not at me directly, but in my direction.

My blood runs cold. 

_ Triple H. _

How did I not see it coming?!

I duck into the store and bolt to the back room.

“Janis?” Aaron calls past me. The story hasn't officially opened yet, he’s just working at the cash register. 

I don't respond, I just slide down the back wall till I'm sitting on the floor, knees pulled to my chest. 

_ Fuckfuckfuckfuck _ . 

That's all I can think as my breathing is labored. 

_ Fuck I am not about to have a panic attack at  _ work _. Fuckfuckfuck. _

“Janis?” Aaron is crouching in front of me. His voice is soft. “Can you breathe with me?”

I shake my head, tears burning at my eyes.  _ If I could I fucking would. I’m doing my best. _

I try to do the breathing tactics we were taught as agents. You’d be surprised how often we get panic attacks on the job.

_ Agent….triple H….triple H in town….fuck _

“I’m gonna call Damian, okay?” Aaron says. “I’m not this best with this stuff.” He mumbles as an afterthought.

“No!” I croak out. I felt pathetic, but I couldn't worry Damian. If he knew triple H was in town- 

_ Nonononononononononono _

I can hear Aaron talking in a hushed voice to someone but I’m too busy trying to get my breathing in check to care.

Once I feel my body actually accepting the oxygen I inhale, I listen to Aaron talking on the phone.

“She just ran in…I dunno…kinda worried…”

I couldn't hear who he was talking to, but it was obviously about me. 

Aaron walks over and passes me his phone.

“Damian.” He says simply.

_ Of course he called Damian. I said n o t to call Damian. _

I take a shaky breath and lift the phone to my ear, mentally preparing for an ambush of concerned questions.

“Janis?”

“Yeah?”

I can almost  _ feel _ Damian’s sigh or relief.

“What happened, love? You want me to come over?”

“No.” I say, a little too quickly. If triple H kept walking in the direction they were going, Damian would walk right into them. “Just stay in the theater, out of sight.”

“Why?”

“Trust me.” I say. No point in freaking out Damian more than necessary. “I gotta call home and talk to the plastics.”

“Janis?” Damian hesitated like he's about to ask a question he really doesnt wanna know the answer to. “Was it triple H?”

“I saw the main three. In town.” I say. It sounds like I'm about to cry and honestly, I might.

“I know. I see them walking past the theater now.” Damian says. “They aren’t stopping to look in any buildings, just be careful love, okay? Call the plastics, I’ll see you at home.”

“Okay.” I say. It's softer than I intended, but I’m shaking all over. 

_ The plastics are in town. The plastics are in town. _

“I love you, okay? Bye.” Damian says.

“Love you too.” I mumble before clicking off the line.

I push myself to my feet and walk over to where Aaron is, by the cash register. I give him his phone back and pull out my own to make another call.

“Thank you.” I say, mustering as much strength into my voice as possible.

_ Why was I so fucked up by this? I’ve literally looked blue chic in the eyes. _

Aaron smiles as I lift my phone to my ear. It rings twice.

“Hello?” Regina’s voice flows through the phone. I walk away from Aaron. 

“Regina, put me on speaker.”

“Okay.” There was a click and Regina started talking again. Her voice sounded further away. “I’m with Karen and Gretchen.”

“Good. Can you guys lock the doors? Damian and I saw the main three in town. Don't think they're looking for the residential area but it's better safe than sorry.”

“Shit.” I can hear Gretchen. “I'll go lock the front door.”

There's footsteps walking away before Karen speaks up.

“We should make our own fucking agency. Or at least buy somes guns. Face plant emoji, fist emoji.”

I laugh, but there is no humor behind it. “Yeah. That's a good idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i gotta go to the doctors today and I hate needles by my arm so i get blood drawn from my hand
> 
> only problem? then I cant type for the rest of the day
> 
> rip to you guys


	13. -thirteen-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont wanna say good bye to this fic yet :(

  
  


_ Video games are fucking misleading. There is no ‘final boss’. There is a l w a y s a higher power. My agent group were the strongest agents in the firm. Above us were the bosses. Above them were the basic levels of the government. And so on.  _

_ My point is, you’re gonna run across a couple ‘final bosses’. Just remember agency training and roll with the punches.  _

It's September. Again.

Business in the flower shop has gone down, we’ve seen less of triple H, and the plastics moved back home.

Life felt boring.

But in a good way.

Like I could stop and take a breath.

In the past few months, it felt hard to keep my head above water. Wave after wave of bad news and triple H stress crashed down on me relentlessly. 

It's like, you don't realize you're drowning till there is no more oxygen. But I had found my oxygen, and I was okay.

Recently I've only been to three places. The flower shop, at the theater supporting Damian, or my bed. Today was no exception.

I walked around the flower shop, humming along to the pop song on the store's speakers. It was a slow day, but I busied myself by helping the few customers and straightening up displays. 

But there’s only so much futzing you can do with wilting flowers before you get bored. 

I was in the rose section, fixing the display for the umpteenth time as the front bell jingled. I looked up to see Cady walking in. 

“Hey guys! How’s my two favorite people doing?” She asks.

“Slow day, but getting paid.” Aaron calls from the back room.

I nod in agreement before spotting a wilted rose in the display. I plucked it out and set it on the counter beside me before rearranging the display to compensate for missing a flower.

“Wow you really must be bored.” Cady says picking up the old rose. It's only wrinkly at its tips, but I needed something to do. 

Cady holds out the rose to me in a dramatic way. “A rose for the fairest lady I see.”

I take the flower and grin. “You go handing out roses to all the married women?”

“Only the cute ones.” She says with a wink.

Aaron coughs from behind us. “Buy something or get out, you’re distracting the workers.”

Cady grins. “Bye love, bye Aaron. Even though you're no fun.”

“Ta ta roomie. See you later!” Aaron waves. “And remind Shane that he’s on dinner!”

Cady just waves before walking away.

I meet Aaron behind the cash register. It's almost the end of my shift, so we both stand behind the counter chatting. 

Suddenly my phone is buzzing with a text from karen.

**Red circle emoji, water gun emoji, running man emoji, scared emoji, flower emoji.**

“What?” I mumble to myself.

Red circle emoji…. Heather C?

I don't have time to worry about the rest of the message because the bell to the shop rings. 

The way the shoppe is layed out, you can't see the register from the door, but we have a camera that shows us who is at the door from the register.

And there's Heather Chandler in all her glory.

Agent instincts kick in and I duck under the counter.

“Aaron,” I whisper. I’m potentially putting my life in my coworkers hands. “Whatever happens, I’m  _ not _ here.”

“What?” Aaron says looking at me.

“Shh!” I lift a finger to my lips and crunch as far away under the desk as possible. 

There is blood pounding in my ears as I pull my knees to my chest. My life rests in the hands of my friend who may or may not know how to act. 

I can hear heels clicking through the store as a dead silence falls. I can't even hear the music that was playing through the speakers before. 

“Hello,” A familiar icy cold voice reaches the back of the store. She is probably standing right at the other side of the desk... 

_ Ohmygod _ .

“Hi! How can I help you?” Aaron's work voice doesn't falter, and for a second I think I'm making it out of this alive. 

“Do you work here with somebody?” Heather asks. I can see perfectly manicured red nails curl under the edge of the desk, she is probably leaning right up into Aarons face.

_ Out of his personal space, bitch _ .

I can't jump up and say that through.

“Just the owner. She's not here today.” Aaron says, and I almost audibly sigh with relief, but I don't. That’ll get me caught. 

“Is the name Janis Sarkisian by any chance?” Heather asked.

_ Wait, Sarkisian? Do they not know my new identity? _

“No, I’ve never heard of Janis Sarkisan.” Aarons voice remains strong.

I could cry, I love this dude.

“Are you  _ sure _ ?” Heather pushes. “About 5’7, two toned long hair, likes army jackets no matter what the weather?”

I almost feel a bit of pride in knowing that triple H didn't catch onto my new identity.  _ Almost _ .

“Nope. Never met her. Are you here to purchase any flowers today?” Aaron says. He sounds almost- bored?

My phone dings loudly as I receive a text from Damian.

_ Fuck! _

“What was that?” Heather asks.

“My phone.” Aaron says without hesitation. “My bag is under the desk.”

“Show me.” Heather channalges.

I look next to me and sure enough, Aarons bag is in fact under the desk.

“I don't need to prove anything to you, but okay.” Aaron reaches under the desk and grabs his bag without even looking at me. “Now, what will you be buying today?”

I open my phone to check Damian’s message.

**You left Karen on open, now respond to me before you are assumed dead. We caught an inside drift that H C will be going to the shop with a gun with shot to kill orders**

**Janis if you don't respond in .5 seconds im going there**

**Janis**

Shoot to kill orders. Fuck.

**_Im tits Dam. I'll let you know if I see her_ ** **.**

No point in worrying Damian if I don't make it out alive.

**_I love you, okay_ ** **?**

**Janis?????**

**I love you too but**

**Is everything okay?**

I can hear the sound of a gun being cocked above the desk and Aaron gasping.

“I told you! I’ve never met a Janis  _ Sarkisian _ !”

**_Its tits Damian. Sorry for being reckless, tell Cady I love her._ **

I inhale and mentality prepare for what I’m about to do. 

**Janis?**

**Janis Avery Sarkisian.**

**Respond right now.**

**Janis?!** **  
  
**

_ Sorry Damian _ . I think. It's a good thing we got into those habits of always saying goodbye like it's your last. I can deal with a hug and a kiss on the forehead being my last farewell from him.

I inhale and step out from under the desk.

“Aim the gun away from Aaron, Heather.” I say, wincing as it goes right to me.

“What's going on?!” Aaron asks, backing up.

Ive been held at gunpoint before, but never shot to kill orders. At least to my knowledge.

“Why are you all still so obsessed with us?” I ask, looking Heather in the eye. “We went through WPP! We aren't agents anymore. We are no longer a threat.”

Heather grins. “I guess I can tell you since neither of you two are gonna make this out alive.”

“What?” Aarons eyes go wide.

I raise my arm up in front of Aaron. “Leave  _ him _ out of this.”

I could see my phone continue getting text messages under the desk, and I feel bad for being so vague. They all deserved a better goodbye. 

“Triple H isn't a firm, unlike your gang. We freelance, working for any company that needs our assistance. But your firm has been on our backs since the beginning of time. So by killing off their ex agents and friends,” Heather momentarily points the gun at Aaron, who backs into the wall. “It’ll set a good example. Don't mess with the bad guys.”

“I guess bad guys dont get rules  _ or _ morals, huh.” I say, rolling my eyes.

I need to stop, I don't want my last words to be a sarcastic remark. Then the sarcasm jar and the hundreds of dollars wasted to Damian would be for nothing. 

“Oh we have morals.” Heather grins. “Just not the same as you.”

Any comeback I have died in my throat as the front door jingles. I don't dare take my eyes from Heather-  _ agenting 101, eyes on the gun _ \- but judging by the smirk on her face, the rest of triple H has just arrived.

I raise my hands in defeat. I would rather not die by giving up, but there is no way out of this. 

Normally shooting to kill orders doesn't mean somebody is held at gunpoint for excruciating long periods. 

From the corner of my eye I can see Aaron shaking. He looks like he's gonna pass out and all I wanna do is give him a hug. But my muscles won't move.

“Lower the gun Heather Chandler.” There's a dangerously low voice behind Heather. I can't see who it belongs to, but I know it all two well. It's been so long since I’ve heard Damian use his agent voice, but I’ve never been happier to hear it.

Heather doesn't move the gun, but she turns to the side to look behind her. I can see past the head of Triple H to see Damian, the plastics, and other agents from the old firm standing there, all fully armed. 

I haven't seen any of my team in their agent get up in years. Even as agents we typically wore nice dresses and suits for missions, since it was always under cover at fancy places.

But I can’t dwell on how badass they look when I’m  _ still  _ held at gunpoint. 

Karen rushes behind the desk and pulls Aaron away, but the second she goes back for me, Heather's finger tightens on the trigger. 

“I’m not done talking to agent 469.” She says. Karen complies, backing away slowly. 

_ Agenting 101- when in a hostage situation, the more you listen the higher your chance of making it out alive _ .

It's a lot easier to say that when you’re not the one with a gun to your head.

Damian also lifts a gun to Heather. Great now we got a chain thing going. 

“I’ll say it again. Lower your weapon.”

Regina and Grechen also hold up guns, but Heather's smile doesn't falter.

“None of you have the balls.”

“Shoot my wife and we can test that.” 

_ Oh my god my sarcasm and attitude are rubbing off on Damian _ .

It happens in slow motion.

It always does.

The rest of Triple H rushes into the shop, weapons locked and loaded. I couldn’t tell you who fired first. I think it was a triple H warning shot in the air, but It sent off a chain. Damian shot Heather in the shoulder, and Regina fired at her ribs. 

_ I guess we really dont have the guts to kill _ .

Gretchen's bullet missed totally.

Heather cried out and her arm fell as she fired. 

At me.

_ Yeah _ .

I don't know what you know about getting shot, but picture everything you’ve ever read or every tv show you’ve ever watched and throw it out the window.

Because it's  _ so much worse _ .

A searing hot burn tears through my gut. I think I scream, I’m not sure.

There's so much blood. Is it mine or Heathers? 

Who else got shot?

Is Damian okay?   
The questions all blur into one as I hit the floor. I can feel blood soak my work clothes, destroying my white mom converse.

There's shouting, and hands grabbing me and applying pressure. 

There may still be gunshots.

Is that Damian?

Who's holding me?

Did I clock out yet?

Why is it so red?

That can't all be me right?!

My brain goes into sensory overload. 

I can hear Regina calling me.

I'm in Damian’s lap.

Is he crying?

Don't cry baby.

I can't bring myself to say it out loud though.

What were my last words?

I can't remember.

What's going on?

I can't tell.

“Janis no, you need to stay with me.”

I can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damian: shoot my wife and we can test that  
> Heather C: Bet?


	14. -fourteen-

  
_   
_

_ I know this is cliche, but push through the pain. No matter what. You’ve got a partner to look out for, don't leave Damian behind.  _

_ You still know who Damian is, right? I’m writing this notebook in case I ever forget anything, but then I just assume you know other stuff. _

_ Wait I told you who Damin was in the beginning. _

_ I forgot. _

_ Fitting. _

I couldn’t concentrate on anything but the pain. 

Somebody yelled about calling an ambulance, but I don't know who. 

They could be calling for Heather.

I’m still in someone's lap, their hands holding my head carefully, as if I might break. I don't remember who it is.

All I can think about is the pain on my side. I feel hands pushing down which just makes it hurt more, but I can't push them off.

I can’t do much really.

Just sit on the floor in pain.

Are my eyes open? 

It's all black anyway.

Are those sirens.

My head is gently lowered to the floor as the person I’m laying on moves. 

The hands also stop.

The pain doesn't.

Suddenly I’m hoisted into the hair, only to be lowered onto something moving.

I just wanna fall asleep. 

I can't leave Damian.

Damian.

Where is he?

Is he okay?

Where’s Cady? 

I hope she is safe at home.

There's a lot of noise. People shouting, sirens going off. Are they for us or triple H.

I see red and blue flash around me. I guess my eyes are closed, it feels like when you close your eyes on a bright day, everything is a brownish orange instead of balck. 

“Where did the rest of Triple H go?”

“Is Janis going to be okay?”

“We need you to back away and let us work.”

“Wait! I’m family. Let me on!”

I think I’m being lifted into an ambulance? There are so many voices all around. I can't identify who is who anymore.

Doors slam shut and I feel somebody grip my hand. 

Their hold is firm, but I can feel them shaking, like they’re scared I’ll slip away.

The ground beneath me starts moving, I’m definitely in some sort of vehicle. 

“Janis?” I recognize that voice. Who is it?

I don't know.

I don't know much anymore.

....

Its fucking bright out.

“Is she waking up? Janis? Can you open your eyes?”

_ Not with this bright light. _

Am I dead? Is this heaven?

No, I’ll definitely go to hell.

“Janis?” A new voice speaks up. How many people are there?

This one comes from my right. They’re probably sitting right there. Are they the ones holding my hand?

I try and flex my fingers and sure enough, the same person gasps. “Janis. Can you open your eyes?”

_ I'm trying _ .

_ You try getting shot, bitch. _

My brain comes to the conclusion that I’m in a hospital, and my next worry is getting my fucking eyes open. 

There's a more femanine voice who speaks up next. “Should I turn off the lights?”

“Yeah.”

All these voices sound so familiar.

Why can’t I place them?

What's going on?

My head hurts and my brain feels like mush, but it's nothing compared to the pain in my side.

I feel myself starting to drift away again. 

…

It's dark. 

For a second, I think I’m dead.

But there is a reassuring beeping of my own lifeline next to me.

Somebody is still holding my hand. 

If you told me they hadn't let go since the ambulance, I’d believe you.

Damian?

I think. 

I try once again to open my eyes. 

It's fruitless.

I do it every morning, why is it so hard now?

I try moving the hand thing again. That's how it works in movies right? The finger twitches first and then boom is a whole world of “what, where am I?”

I manage to weakly wrap my hand around the one holding me. Its owner does not react. 

Maybe it's night. That's why it's so dark. 

It takes a while, but I manage to open my eyes. 

_ Yes! _

It's a small amount, it feels like I'm squinting. There's a crust around my eyes that I would love to wipe away, but I can't even fathom the idea of moving more. 

I glance to my right, and sure enough, Damian is laying there asleep.

He looks like he hasn't slept in weeks.

His hair's hanging down in front of his eyes with his head resting on my legs. The chair he pulled up next to me can’t be comfy. His hand was wrapped around mine and pulled close to his chest. If I really think about it, I think I can feel his heartbeat. Or maybe that's my blood pressure. 

It’s getting hard to keep my eyes open, but I’m proud of at least being able to get them open. 

…

It's bright again. 

I don’t like it.

People are talking in hushed whispers.

Damian is no longer holding my hand.

Who's here?

I try and listen to what's going on. My understanding of the conversation goes in and out, I can't decipher everything they’re saying because they’re speaking so quietly.

“....four days now…”

“Not getting better….doctors aren't sure….”

Are they talking about me? Has it been four days?

_ So many questions _ .

…

The next time I ‘wake up’, something tells me it will be the last time.

Damian’s hand is back, and I can hear him talking with someone.

Cady?

It sounds like her. 

It's more hushed whispers, then a door closes and it's silent again. 

I try moving my fingers out of fear that I’ve lost all waking up progress made. 

It's surprisingly easy to get it.

And it sets off Damian.

“Janis?!”

_ Too loud dude. _

I don't trust my voice, my throat feels dry and my eyes feel crusted over again. I probably don't look cute.

“Janis? Can you hear me? Move your hand again if you can hear me.” His voice is quieter now, laced with hope.

It should not be as hard as it is to move my fucking hand, but it is. I still manage though. It gets easier every time I do.

Damian lets out a breathy ‘oh my god’.

I want to open my eyes. I’m done with this half there half not bullshit. 

It's frustrating.

“I’m just gonna, talk, I guess. Since I know you're listening.” Damian squeezes my hand lightly. “It's been a week, Jan. You lost a lot of blood and doctors weren’t sure if you’d wake up.” His voice cracks a bit. “There was- there was a lot of blood. I felt so helpless watching you just crumple to the ground. We’ve been through so much, ya know?”

_ Yeah. _

“We hadn't done any agency work in years, seeing you with a gun to your head, the fear was something I hadn't felt in years.” He pauses. “They caught triple H. All of them. Heather Chandler is fine, if you’re worried about that. Cady, Shane, and Aaron know. They’re not mad or anything. Cady stress baked so many cookies.” Damian laughed. “She’s here. I’ve been here but I'm your husband so I can stay overnight. Cady is here from the start of visiting hours to the end, everytime. The plastics are here a lot too.”

Damian is silent for a bit. All I want to do is get up and give him a hug.

“The doctors say you’ve healed nicely. I think everyone is more worried about my mental state then you.” Damian chuckled without any real humor. “Really miss the firm therapy.”

I squeeze Damian’s hand the best I can. It's not really a squeeze, but moving is getting easier.

“I was so scared when I was getting your text messages, Janis. The agency reached out to us because we were in danger and….I thought we were gonna get there too late.” He pauses. “Hold on, I’m still here, let me just do something really fast.”

I feel Damian let go of my hand and the room around me goes dark.

“I turned off the lights, love. It might be easier for you to open your eyes now.”

And it is. Even in the dark room with the blinds closed, it feels too bright, but I manage to open my eyes a little. 

I still dont talk but I blink a couple times and look around. Damian makes his way back to my side, there are tears in his eyes.

“Hey love.” He says softly. My eyes seemed to be the hardest part, because now that I’m moving then, the rest of my body seems to be cooperating. But as I regain feeling in my arms and torso, the pain comes back.

I make a noise, I can’t tell you what it was. Maybe a groan? My vocal cords just kinda spazzed at the pain in my gut. My hand instantly shot to my side. 

My lower torso was wrapped tightly but I could feel when my hand touched my side.

“Here.” Damian holds out a water bottle. 

I take in gingerly. My whole body is shaking but I manage to get a few sips. It felt like I haven't drank water in days. Well... Damian did say I was out for a week.

“I’m gonna go get a doctor, okay?” Damian asks. I give the closest thing to a nod as I can and he kisses my forehead quickly before slipping out of the room. 

My hospital room was filled with gifts, flowers, and cards. I don't even think I know enough people to own all the gifts here. The lights are still off, but I can see the sun out behind the curtains. 

Damian comes back into the room with a doctor on his heels. 

The doctor gives me a rundown that I already know. I was shot, lost a shit ton of blood, I was in a coma for seven days, I’m gonna be in pain for a while, but hey- I’m healing nicely. 

After a while of fussing and checking my vitals, the doctor leaves. Damian goes to sit back by my site once again.

“Wait,” I say, reaching over. “Come up here.”

“Jan I love you but there isn't enough room for us both.”

“Please?” I sound pathetic but I truly don't care. 

I thought I was as good as dead. Let me get a hug from my soulmate. 

Damian tsks and crawls up next to me. “If I’m kicked out of the hospital that's on you.” 

I shift so I’m leaving against him as his arms wrap around me. I grit my teeth as I move my injury the wrong way and Damian notices, because he stiffens a bit. Like he’s scared to hurt me.

“I’m fine, Damian.” I lean into him, putting my head on his chest.

“No, you’re not. You got shot. I thought you were dead.” There's a level of fear in Damian’s voice as he pulls me closer. He’s not holding me nearly as tight as he normally does, it's like he's scared I’m gonna break. But to just feel him there is good enough for me.

“I thought I was too.” I say softly. We sit there for a bit, I think I may have fallen asleep at one point, butI’m brought to by somebody knocking on the door. 

Damian is still holding me, his chin resting on my head. I look up to see Agent Jonas at the door.

“Hi.” I say, waving as best as I can. My arms are held down by my side because of Damian’s hug. 

“Hello, dear. How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been shot.” I say. Damian also waves to the Agent.

“Well at least your humor is back.” She smiles. “I would rather wait longer than right ever you’ve woken up from a coma, but it's already been a week and we’re running out of time.”

Damian and I share a look.

“Triple H has been caught and arrested, you no longer need to be in WPP.”

Herring those words felt like somebody ducked a bucket of ice cold water on my head and a breath of fresh air at the same time.

It's what I’ve wanted to hear for so long….but the life I’ve built here is one I enjoy.

“You have many options.” The agent said. “You can continue your life here, under whichever names you choose. Or you can pick up where you left off in New York. If you really wanted to, you could pack up and restart all over again.”

Damian sand his hand up and down my arm subconsciously. “Can we think about it?”

“Of course.” Agent Jonas said. “Make your decision as soon as possible, you have my number.”

And with that, she left. 

“I wanna stay here.” I said, looking at Damian.

“I do too.” He agreed. “But what about our last names? Do you wanna stay married, or go back to our old names?”

…

“What do I call you now?” I ask Damian as we finalize the papers. We were at home, filling out paperwork. “Are you my soulmate, agency partner, roommate, co parent to two cats, god father of my future child, or my ex husband?”

Damian gins. “All of the above. It’s gonna be so fun introducing me to new people.”

“We certainly have a story to tell at parties.” I agree.

Damian and I decided on a divorce that we can pursue the romatining love interest we met while in WPP. We decided to stick with the shared last name though, it felt easier. Much to Cady's delight, we are keeping our houses and jobs in Northshore.

Agent Jonas collects the papers from us and smiles. 

“Keep in touch, agents.”

Oh yes, we also are agents again- along with the plastics.

We get up and Damian’s arm wraps instinctively around my waist. It’s been three weeks since the flower shop shooting (as the group had dubbed it) and it still hurt for me to walk. 

Agent Jonas made her way to the front door and we waved bye to her.

“You sure you’re up for the party next door?” Damian asks.

“Of course.” I grin. Cady, Shane, and Aaron were throwing a party for us and the plastics as a ‘yay you’re out of WPP!’ “I’m excited.”

Damian grins, kissing my forehead. “Me too.”

I make my way into my room to change and spot my notebook lying on the floor. In the end, I guess it was good for something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one more chapter...i dont wanna say goodbye to this fic yet bro
> 
> PSA: ive never had to wake up from a coma before, so i wrote bullshit and hoped for the best


	15. -fifteen-

  
_   
_

_ Moral of the story future Janis, trust your gut and protect your head. Being an agent isn't easy, but nobody ever said it would be.  _

“How did it feel to have a proper wedding, Janis Heron?” Damian asked. 

I grinned and looked across the reception at my new wife. “It feels nice. Five years ago I married my best friend. Three years ago we divorced because we were no longer wanted dead. Now I’ve married  _ the one _ .”

“Took you two long enough.” Damian grins. “Aren't lesbians supposed to propose after two dates?”

I elbow him, “Enough from you Damian Omen. You don't get to talk. You said yes after we were divorced for  _ three months _ .”

“Call me, miss movin on!” Damian sings. 

Shane walks up to us. “May I snag my husband?”

“Please,” I wave them off. “Get him out of my face.”

“Wow!” Damian laughs, but he follows Shane away anyway. I watched the reception from where I sat. Cady was going around chatting with everyone who came. She looked so pretty.

People from the agency came to the wedding, including some WPP workers who helped me and Damian get married in the first place. Cady and I had a real priest this time, but I couldn't help but smile when Agent Jonas winked at me from the crowd. 

“Hey there newly wed.” Regina said sitting next to me. “How are you feeling?”

I smile. “Really good.”

“Thats always amazing.”

Aaron, Cady, and Shane moved into Damian and I’s house. (Cady and I share the balcony room, Shane and Damian share the hot tub room, and Aaron has the guest room.) The plastics moved into the newly vacant house to our right. We still have the shared garden and we eat dinner all together almost every night. 

It's not uncommon for us all to just crash in our living room most nights. It's nights like those where I crawl up next to Damian and as I fall asleep in his arms, surrounded by the people I love, and I realize this is probably the peak of my life.

The agent gang still works for the same firm, we just have an office in Northshore now. Cady doesn't like it, but it pays and since there is no more triple H, we don't go on missions nearly as often. The new office is on the second floor of my very own art studio. 

Yup that's right, bye flower shop.

Aaron still works there, the owner put the store up for sale after its reputation was tarnished with blood. 

_ Literally. _

Aaron of course bought the shop and revamped it into: A. Samuel’s Flower Shoppe. Karen and Gretchen work there for him, and I make sure to stop by for plants for my gallery. 

Leonardo Di Cattrio warmed up to me, it only took five years. Him and Van are getting older, but no less lovable.

“Janis!” I turn around to see Cady running towards me. 

I get up out of my chair and brace myself just in time for the full weight of my wife to barrel into me.

“Hey!” I laugh wrapping one arm around her, the other gripping Regina’s shoulder to balance myself. 

I see Damian wink at me from across the room and I can help but smile.

Maybe one day Cady and I will move out and get our own house, have kids, maybe more cats. But for now, I just have to worry about protecting my head, ducking, never breaking character, and to watch out for Leonardo Di Caprio stealing a Van Gough painting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fin <3


	16. storyline notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a chapter, but these are the bullet points i refrenced while writing the fic! My storyline notes are always bullshit and funny to read through, so take a peak if you want!

###  STORYLINE 

Chap 1:

\--talk about triple H and agency--

-oh shit agent jonas

-married

-so cute

-this is like a prologue chapter idk

-appearance change

-CADY (and cookies)

Chap 2:

\--don't break character--

-cady! (again)

-go tell damian cute girl

-shit you're married

-meet aaron (and get job)

-movie night?

-movie night.

-painting

-aw cady is bi what a queen

-we stan accepting neighbors

-the agent is back shes gonna judge your house

Chap 3:

\--talk about the code--

-cats

-leonardo di catrio

-van gough

-its christmas

-they have a xmas celebration with the neighbors

-REGINAAAAA

Chap 4:

\--never let feelings blow your cover (TITLE OF THE FIC)--

-janis and damian talk about cady (and shane)

-aaron and janis at work

-art freaks and plastics have dinner at the leigh house hold

-talk about missing agency

Chap 5:

\--damian doesn't like janis keeping a secret book--

-its february

-janis and damian jokingly get valentines gifts for each other

-vry funny

-march

-cady and janis sit outside and talk

-cady and aaron used to date

-shane has a thing for damian

-blushing

Chap 6:

\--ducking saves lives--

-april

-janis just walks through town, it's pretty

-oh shit theres blue chic and trench coat

-janis calls in sick for her shift last minuteTM

-damian flips shit?

-damian flips shit.

-they both dont go to work for a couple days

-ITS JUNE

-prideeeeee

-aka i wanna write cute accepting towns foke

-old gay couple thinks cady and janis are a thing

-blushing

Chap 7:

\--decisions, wrong/right--

-august

-they never told agent

-they also have not seen triple h again so

-october

-agent stops by, is impressed with how they’ve redone the house

-they hadn't even realized

-shane x damian

-NIGHTMARE

-cuddles omg im soft for their friendship

Chap 8:

\--trama--

-its november again

-its been a year

-they just kinda mope

-dinner with plastics (the reprise)

-they talk about how they’ve seen triple H in their town

-janis thinks “hey it's not us” but then feels sad and selfish

Chap 9:

\--agency training--

-its back to december

-OPENING NIGH ON A NEW SHOW FOR DAMIAN

-janis brought flowers (from the shop ofc)

-aaron cady and shane go as well

-new years!!!!!

-its bittersweet

Chap 10:

\--can't dwell, moving on--

-march

-flowers

-painting

-just a general look into janis mental space ™

-its not horrible, just sad

-feels paranoid bc she isn't part of the agency anymore

-dinner with plastics, they feel the same

-jock 1 and 2 have been in the plastics town a lot

-be cautious

Chap 11:

\--interaction Janis had with jock 1 and 2--

-may

-full swing business time for the flower shop

-janis and aaron talk about flowers, they decide to start a combined garden between properties

-Damian, Shane, and Cady (ft plastics) help and its bonding ™ time

-june

-janis gets sick and can't go to pride

-sad

-:(

-damian stays home too he's so sweet i love him

Chap 12: 

\--”i've only been almost kinda kidnapped once? Its fine im not traumatized at all--

-janis sees triple h all together walking through town while walking to work

-they don't see her

-she freaks out in the back room, aaron is super sweet about it

-”dont call damian”

-lmao he calls damian i take back what i said what an untrusted loser

-anyway damian flips per usual

-plastics are called

-”we should make our own fucking agency. Or at least buy somes guns”- karen smith, probably

Chap 13:

\--final boss?--

-its september

-business is finally going down after a long summer

-they’ve seen less and less of triple H

-Work with aaron and janissssss

-cady stops by to visit

-janis offers her a rose, they’re literally flirting janis wait you’re a married woman what are you doing

-cady leaves

-its end of janis shift, time to g- fuck thats heather c

-janis ducks, aaron needs to lie and say she isn't here

-heather c- decribles old janis

-janis “hahaha loser”

-heather c *pulls out a gun*

-janis is held at gunpoint for an excruciating long period of time

-damian!

-and if there's other agents too

-sucks for janis she STILL got sh0t

Chap 14:

\--push through pain--

-triple h finally caught

-janis is okay, for the most part

-damian is a stressed husband

-they aren't part of wpp anymore

-they stay in north shore though, much to cadys delight

-they also keep their leigh names?

-but get a divorce

-:(

-”i don't know what to call you now. My ex husband, best friend, roommate, co parent to two cats, or future godfather of my children.”

-cady and jani can finally get together

Chap 15:

\--trust your gut, it works out in the end--

-wedding party

-JANIS IS MARRIED AGAIN?

-oh it's like three years later

-Jasin Heron, cute

-jokes about changing identity

-janis and damian are agents again, it stressed cady out

-shane and damian are also married? Cuteeeee

-poor aaron

-aaron took over the shop when the owner moved away

-JANIS HAS AN ART STUDIO OOO

-plastics moved into north shore to be closer to their old friends (and new friends)

-everyone helps them move in, ON THE SAME BLOCK AS EVERYONE (maple court)

-janis, damian, shane, cady, and aaron all share a house now bc four of the people share beds

-maybe one day we can get our own houses, but for now, i just gotta protect my head, duck, never break character, and watch out for leonardo di caprio stealing a van go painting

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated! This is my first time writing such a darastic au where nothing's the same, so leave feedback if you have any!


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